A Once Cheating Wife

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A Once Cheating Wife

by Melisa
(New City)

A Once Cheating Wife: I am praying that God restores my Christian marriage after being with my husband for 23 years (since I was 15) and married 14 years, I cheated on him. I feel so horrible and he never lets me forget what I did to him. He feels that I have not 100% come clean to him and after 7 years wants me to show him the person whom I had the affair with. It was someone at the same company I work at, Which I no longer work for after 5 years. I am dying inside we have four beautiful kids and I am so nice. I want to die inside all the time when the topic comes up... of shame and embarrassment of my infidelity. Why can"t he let it go. I am dying inside. Please pray for my marriage. I want to move on. But he does not let it go.

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A Once Cheating Wife

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Response to Melisa
by: Anonymous

Melisa,

My husband who divorced me for another woman has tried reconciling with me many times. I didn't realize I was pushing him away without knowing. I was still hurt and scared he'd hurt me again. I realized not only did he need healing to be restored in God's ways but I too needed to be healed from the pain it caused me. It doesn't mean I don't or didn't love him, only scared he'd hurt me again. This last time, I did a GREAT job of pushing him away. He also said something like you - he wanted to start new but he was never clear if with me or someone else. It's for that reason that I didn't see (until too late) that he was trying to make things work again, but I was still reserved not knowing where he stood.

I pray your husband can be healed and forgives you completely. He needs healing. It's not impossible. I wish my husband would let me call him so I can tell him how sorry I am. Pray his heart and yours can be unhardened. The bible speaks about how Moses allowed divorces because of the hardening of hearts although it was not taht way in the beginning. The word speaks of how marriage is until death and you become one flesh when married. You're both hurting form what happened. Yes, I agree he needs to let go of what happened.. but also feel you need to realize what harm was done to him. Love prevails... Love him unconditionally. He needs your love with all your heart right now no matter what happens or how he reacts. I needed my husband to show me unconditional love and sadly in a very difficult time he didn't react so well or how I needed him but still... I still love him so that I'm deeply hurting. I'm about ready to give up on the fight because the pain of losing him so many times and losing this battle is unbearable. Please pray for us too.

Believe me, I know if you show your husband unconditional love, ask him and God to forgive you for what you did, stay with him through this difficult time knowing the enemy will be doing all he can to prevent your reconciliation... it will happen. I can only have wished my husband had realized how much the enemy was fighting against us.. but sadly I was the only one aware and not strong enough. I'm truly on the floor right now in pieces and he may never know how hard this has been for me all these years. I pray he never does, because I honestly pray no one ever experiences a divorce... it's worse that when your spouse dies... it's losing your other half alive.

Don't let the enemy win. Ask God to heal and restore. He will.

God bless you.

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