Am i asking for to much from my cheating husband

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Am i asking for to much from my cheating husband

by THANDI

My husband cheated on me the first year of our marriage. I only discovered it now, 7years later. Now I am beginning to understand all the cheating signs throughout the years of our marriage. Whenever questioned, he would give excuses,time away etc..etc. He has asked for forgiveness and I have forgiven him.

What I want from him now is to hold hands and pray with me about this situation. Am I asking for too much? To me just saying sorry is not working because the word sorry doesn't mean anything to him I have heard it so many times so much that I cant start loving and trusting him because he has said I am sorry.

Is asking for time to pray is asking for too much from a christian husband in leadership? I want to hear him tell God the situation asking for forgiveness from God and hear him asking for healing. He doesn't want us to go for counseling or to tell the pastor he insist that I should not share even with family.

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Am i asking for to much from my cheating husband

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Feb 13, 2012
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Forgiveness
by: Anonymous

I understand your point of view, having had a similar experience with my wife. I realize that it has been some time for you as of now, but it is quite apparent that at the time of your post that you had actually not yet forgiven him. That is ok, forgiveness is not something that comes easily or naturally to us in this mortal state.

I hope you do pray together often since that is a great source for strength in a marriage. I don't think that that you should ask him to include you in his repentance process. I know it might help you find closure to hear him say those things, but the reality is that repentance is an intensely personal process that is between a person and God. Restitution should be made if possible, but lets face it, he won't be able to give you back that time that he was unfaithful.

My advice to others in this situation is to pray together at least once a day for help if nothing else. Find a christian marriage counselor with similar beliefs (hopefully your spouse is committed enough to attend, if not, you can still benefit a lot on your own). Finally, pray for help to forgive (forgiveness is much more that speaking the words "I forgive"). It's not always an easy thing to do, but Jesus will help you. He did help me.

Oct 28, 2011
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IS NOT WRONG TO ASK, BUT WHO WE ASK.
by: Olga

Married 15 years, and now happily trying to keep it. "It's been three years, of our tragedy," and I can easily say, sometimes it seems like yesterday." My husband was leading a double life, used the military and work get always, to cheat. When i found out, it was too late, he had fallen in love with her and wanted the divorce, then to find out, he was loosing the house and was, he had defaulted and tried refinancing without my consent. He would took his guilt on the children, by ignoring them, and abusing them emotionally. "it hit me so hard, I fell in deep depression before I even found out" i tried Christian marriage counseling and only attended one, then he would avoid it, putting work as an excuse. I ended in deep depression, just letting everything go, my mind and body gave out, I dropped 50lb withing a couple months, locked praying to God, reading the Bile for the first time, and also reading the book, Love and Respect, to find out that as I was reading, I was at fault, for my husbands actions, as well as we were taken by the enemy; " I ended up locked in the hospital" its like I died and was born again. I came out like a little lamb, seeking the Lord, and full of strength and ready to get my life together, I was put on medication and within a week, the Spirit filled me with strength to stop the medication. I had the opportunity to make peace with my husband and apologized for failing him. "he left me," but also said, he needed time to think. . . " he came back withing three days" and before I said yes, I told home, " the Lord will always be first in my life, from now on." The Lord changed me, and ended up going to church by myself every Sunday; a couple of months went by, " he said to me, he would come to church, but not to force anything, because he did not believe, " prayed for him, and praised the Lord, for everything, he blessed me with. " I learned God uses our spouse to bring us to Him, and what ever I think is right, it's wrong, " its not about me" it's about our commitment to God, if we don't love God first, then we can not love our spouse" If I see any turbulence, storm coming. . . "I see red alert! Satan seeking to destroy" surrender your life, and put your trust in the Lord first, He will restore your marriage, and all the other blessings will follow.

Oct 10, 2011
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I can't believe even Christian would do this
by: May

I just found out that my husband cheated on me with a serial adulteress and it broke my heart and completely shattered my life that I prayed to God to take my life.

But it's my fault as he's not a Christian. He's disgusting and he made me feel repulsive every time when I remember what he said to her. He's so awful that I really don't know what to do.

May 30, 2011
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thank you
by: thandi

all I can say is thank you,I WILL Try

May 27, 2011
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I DON'T KNOW
by: Anonymous

I can understand why YOU need to hear him tell God he is sorry but please try to remember something Mother Theresa said:

In the final analysis, it is between him and God. It was never between you and him anyway.

Taking this concept to heart has really helped me in the process of working through a very difficult marriage. When I find myself stressing about the direction I don't think we are going, I have to remind myself that I am not in control.
God has the reigns, the steering wheel and the gas and brake. Put your heart to rest and ask God to help you truly forgive. Don't count on your humanity to embrace forgiveness without judgement. Count on your spirituality, God will never let you down!

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