Are You an Immature Husband? Here are 6 Signs

Posted by in Marriage Problems, Uncategorized | 3 comments

immature-husband

 

Are You an Immature Husband?

Recently, I wrote a post called “Dealing with an Immature Husband.”  It talked about the frustration that some wives feel as a result of their husbands being immature.  If you didn’t read that post, go back and read it.

 

It offered encouragement as well as five things that wives can do to help their husbands and reduce their own frustration.

 

In that post I also promised to do a follow-up post to address husbands; this is the follow-up post.

 

First, I want to say that I am very much aware of the fact that some husbands are married to immature women.  However, the reason I’m focusing my attention on immature husbands is because the husband is the head of his wife.

 

husband-is-the-head

 

A husband’s direction, or even his lack of direction, sets the course for his wife and family.  In other words, what a husband does or does not do, whether intentional or not, has long reaching repercussions for his household simply because he is the head.

 

But as I stated in the previous post, Dealing with an Immature Husband, you can’t scold or talk a person into maturing.  Furthermore, I’ve learned that immaturity is blind.  What I mean is that immature people don’t know that they’re immature.

 

So, I’m not going to waste time scolding husbands or telling them to  grow-up.  Not only is it a waste of time, it’s not the way of Christ.

 

What I’m going to do instead is point out some signs of immaturity and let husbands do a self-evaluation.   Perhaps this post can spark a conversation between the two of you.  Here we go:

 

immature husband

 

1. You are easily offended – Immature husbands are often emotionally immature and insecure, which translates into them being offended easily by others.  This could take the form of a husband becoming angry when his wife points out a character flaw of his or shows him where he is in error.

 

2. You’re not reliable –  You’re simply not a man of your word.  Instead, you make excuses and justify why you didn’t keep your word.  As a result, your wife has a hard time trusting you to do what you say you’re going to do.  To avoid constant disappointment she tries hard not to get her hopes up.

 

3. Your priorities are out of order –  Instead of doing what’s necessary and beneficial, you would rather do what is most gratifying or fun.  For instance, rather than help your wife with chores, you choose to play video games.

A husband with displaced priorities may also value spending time with his friends more than he does spending time with his wife and children.

 

5.  You are self-centered –  You are always on your mind.  The desires of your wife are secondary; it’s always about you.  You have forgotten that your wife has emotional needs and that you are supposed to love her sacrificially as Christ does the church. 

When you love sacrificially, it’s about the other person not you.

 

6.  You don’t understand your role – You think being the head of your wife means that you’re her boss and that you don’t have to listen to her input.  While it may be true that you don’t have to listen to her, it certainly would behoove you to listen to her.

The whole reason why women were created was because God knew that man needed a helper.

A mature man values the opinion of his wife and understands that he is a servant leader, not a dictator.

 

If you were able to identify with any of these signs, don’t despair.   Being an immature husband is not terminal–you can recover.  Use the six identifiers as prayer points and as catalysts to start a heart-to-heart conversation with your wife.

 

 

3 Comments

  1. Great Post. I saw some things on here that are certainly praying points for me. Thanks for posting

  2. You’re welcome. Thanks for sharing with us Ediie. I’m glad this post helped you to identify the problem in your marriage. Continue to pray for your husband as you said, and refer back to the advice that was given in the previous article, “Dealing with an Immature Husband.” If you desire to share this article with him, pray about that. Ask God to prepare his heart and to show you just the right time.

  3. I have been with my husband for twenty-eight years and from your post I finally understand why we struggle within the marriage at times. Despite the fact he is an ordained minister and I can always see God working on him and the ministry. He is immature and often makes poor choices and blames others for his lack of success. I would like to share this with him but…refer to number 1…he becomes very offensive and I am not personally up for the battle. He is not ready to receive this information. You can not fix things unless both parties are willing. So I will continue to pray and allow God to do what he does best. Thank you for defining our struggle.

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