Posts by wcollins

Be Careful How You Influence Your Husband

Posted by on Feb 8, 2017 in Marriage Problems | 0 comments

Be Careful How You Influence Your Husband At the beginning of this year, I began reading through the Bible.  When I got to the 16th chapter of Genesis, I couldn’t seem to move pass verse 2.  I’ve read this verse countless times over my life, but the thing that spoke to me this time was completely different.     This time as I read that verse, the thing that jumped out at me was the powerful influence that we as wives have over our husbands.   I’m not talking about a woman’s ability to entice a man sexually.  What I’m talking about is deeper than that.   My husband Michael loves me deeply and desires to see me happy.  He also has a great deal of respect for me and values my opinion above everyone else’s.   For those reasons,  when I talk to him about major issues, I have to constantly make sure my heart and motivations are pure so that I don’t steer him in the wrong direction.   Sarai meant well as I’m sure the majority of us Christian wives do, but the bottom line is that Sarai didn’t believe God.  Her unbelief led her to devise a plan that went against what God had spoken to her husband Abram.   Ladies, convincing your husband to do things your way instead of trusting God is never a good idea no matter how you spin it—just ask Eve!  Sarai got what she wanted but she didn’t want what she got, Ishmael!     As we continue our discussion on the heart, we want to encourage Christian wives to really dig deep and search their hearts this week.  Sarai’s heart was impatient and insecure.   What’s in your heart?  The issues in your heart will be the driving force when you talk to your husband.   As a wife, you must be extremely careful how you influence your husband.  When you talk to him, make certain your heart is clean and your motives are pure.  Don’t ask him to do things that go against what God has said in order to satisfy your fears and insecurities.   If your husband is a believer, trust the God in him.  If he tells you that he believes the Holy Spirit is saying this or that to him, it is not your place to challenge him or persuade him differently.  Let your goal each day as a Christian wife be to influence your husband in a Godly way.   Need Marriage...

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Search Me O God: Marital Issues Prt. 2

Posted by on Jan 29, 2017 in Adultery, Marriage Problems | Comments Off on Search Me O God: Marital Issues Prt. 2

Search Me O God: Marriage Issues Prt.2 “Search me  O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  Point out anything in me that offends you and lead me along the path of everlasting life” Psalm 139:23-24.   A heart-shaped box of chocolates is nice, if that’s what you enjoy, but it won’t do much to change the trajectory of your marriage if there are underlying issues.  With that in mind, and Valentine’s Day approaching, we’re continuing our discussion about the heart.  Click here to read part one. We recently made a decision to sell our house. As a result, we now have a growing list of projects to complete.  If you’ve ever sold a house you know that there’s more to it than simply placing a “For Sale” sign in your front yard.  There’s a period of preparation that includes repairing, replacing, and decluttering.  The decluttering phase is usually when you discover just how much stuff you really have.   Some discoveries make you smile and others make you scratch your head.  Like my collection of gift bags! Why in the world did I feel compelled to recycle every gift bag that I’ve received over the past few years? A few bags are okay, but bags stashed under our bed, behind our dresser, and in the tops of our closets was just… well…unnecessary.   The same question can be asked concerning your heart.  Why are you holding onto so much unnecessary stuff? You’ve been stashing things into the crevices of your heart for so long that you’ve forgotten just how much stuff is actually in there.  Worst of all, you’re completely unaware of how it all impacts your attitude and behavior towards your spouse and others. That is why doing regular heart checks to expose and dispose of hidden issues is so vital.  At the suggestion of David, who prayed “Search me O God,” let’s solicit the help of Father today and ask Him to reveal anything in our hearts that is offensive to Him and detrimental to the growth of our marriages this year. Here are just a few examples of issues that could be hiding inside your heart along with their related symptoms:   The Fearful Heart Runs away, refuses to trust God or your spouse, afraid of what the future holds. The Regretful Heart Always thinking “I shouldn’t have gotten married”, or “I should have________.” The Discouraged Heart You feel as if things will never get better; like there’s no hope. The Prideful Heart You’re sarcastic. You seldom accept fault. You do very little self reflection. You blame others, and you criticize your spouse often. The Insecure Heart You’re skeptical, jealous, suspicious, and controlling. The Covetous Heart You’re dissatisfied with what you have and thus you are always comparing and desiring the life, marriage, or possessions of someone else.   Did you find yourself on the list? If so, it’s time to put forth an effort to finally get rid of that stuff. Any one of those issues has the ability to dismantle your marriage if not dealt with. The remedy is to search your heart and then declutter.   But what if you couldn’t relate to anything on the list? If you didn’t find yourself on the above list, that doesn’t mean there aren’t things hiding inside your heart that don’t need to be dealt with. Daily asking God to search your heart and reveal anything that is unpleasing to Him is a habit that all of us as born again believers need to acquire.   Remember, your unresolved heart...

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The Heart of Your Marital Issues

Posted by on Jan 18, 2017 in Marriage Problems | Comments Off on The Heart of Your Marital Issues

The Heart of Your Marital Issues Wondering why your spouse did what they did knowing it would hurt you? We believe the root cause of most marital issues is a heart issue.  Whether it’s adultery, lying, abuse, or constantly criticizing your spouse, most marital issues can be traced to an issue with the person’s heart. So for the next few weeks we’re going to talk extensively about the heart.  Our goal is to impart a Biblical understanding of the heart and how important it is to the future of your marriage. With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, you’re likely seeing heart-shaped items everywhere you look.  Society uses the heart symbol to represent passionate love.  A broken heart represents love lost, while a heart with an arrow piercing through it represents Cupid’s arrow and love found or a wounded heart.   Unwrapping the true meaning of the heart and the life-or-death impact it can have on your marriage will require you to move beyond the superficial, metaphoric images that our society created long ago and dig deeper into the heart of God.   Digging Deeper… In the Bible, the word heart and the word soul are often interchangeable.  They each consist of a persons mind, will, understanding, and emotions.  All of these elements govern your decision making.    In other words, every decision that you’ve ever made has been the result of something you either thought, desired, understood, or felt.  Make sense? Let’s take it a step further.   When you or your spouse makes a decision to be unfaithful, lie, criticize, etc., it is because of toxic thinking, ungodly desires, a lack of understanding (often spiritual), or displaced emotions.  Those are all heart issues.     The more heart issues a person has, the more marital issues they’re going to have.  Now do you see the significant role your heart plays in determining the success or failure of your marriage?  Create in us clean hearts oh God!   For that reason, Proverbs 4:23 instructs us to guard our hearts above everything else!  That means guarding our hearts must become our number one priorities.  When something is guarded it is watched over and protected from outward threats.   There are a plethora of threats in the world, both in and outside of your home, all competing for an opportunity to entice you and influence your choices.  If you don’t guard your heart, you will eventually be dragged far away from the heart of God and found doing and saying things that dishonor Him and put the future of your marriage at risk.   There’s no need to continue asking yourself why your spouse made that choice or even why you made a certain decision, it all goes back to the heart.  If you want to transform your marriage, it starts with a heart examination.  Begin by asking yourself? “What’s in my heart?”  Then, give your heart over to the Master surgeon!   The Heart of Your Marital Issues Prt. 2   Need marriage help? Check out Wanda’s 21-day biblical counseling program:      ...

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Podcast: How Michael and Wanda Met

Posted by on Jan 12, 2017 in Podcasts | Comments Off on Podcast: How Michael and Wanda Met

Podcast: How Michael and Wanda Met How Michael and Wanda met is nothing short of miraculous! Living in two different states and each fed up with dating, it would take the hand of God to change their hearts and bring them together.   While a portion of their story is already posted on the website under Romantic Love Stories, it’s missing intricate details that bring the story to life.   Whether you’re already married, waiting for God to send your spouse, or believing God to heal your marriage, the story of how they met will encourage you to trust God.   Take a moment to listen and then share your thoughts with us:    ...

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Setting Marriage Goals in the New Year

Posted by on Jan 6, 2017 in Marriage Tips | Comments Off on Setting Marriage Goals in the New Year

Setting Marriage Goals Every year around this time, Michael and I come together to discuss our marriage goals for the new year.  Setting marriage goals has become an annual activity that has proven quite beneficial for us and our family.  So this year we want to encourage you to try it.   When I think back to the times in our marriage when we felt the most frustrated, I now see that some of our frustration was a result of our failure to properly set goals and plan.  We weren’t working towards anything concrete; therefore, we weren’t accomplishing much.  Just going around the same mountain again and again.     Help Setting Marriage Goals All of us are familiar with setting goals for eating healthier and exercising.  Having those goals help us stay focused and also provide us with a way of measuring our progress as time goes by.   We have found that setting marriage goals at the start of each year has similar benefits.  It gives you something to aim towards, and it enables you to look back and see how far the two of you have come.  When I look back on old goals that we’ve since accomplished, it encourages me.   Building and maintaining a good marriage requires intentional and consistent effort.  With that in mind, here are some categories and examples of marriage goals that the two of you might consider for this year:   Give each other an opportunity to express your feelings about whether or not you felt emotionally fulfilled last year.   Then, take turns asking each other how you can do better.  Write down whatever the other person says and viola!  You now have emotional goals.   Was God the center of your marriage last year? Discuss ways that the two of you can honor God in your marriage more this year.  Praying before making decisions or reading the Word of God together are just a couple of ideas.   Money has always been among the top three reasons why couples divorce.  Having too little money in marriage or not being responsible with the money that God has entrusted you with can add unwanted stress on your marriage.  Setting goals for spending, saving, and paying off debt can relieve that stress.   We have so many other things pulling at us these days that having fun with our spouses sometimes gets placed on the back burner.  The result? Two grouchy people! This year, be intentional and consistent with dating your spouse, laughing more, and taking time to rest.   In healthy marriages, couples rest AND play.     Do you and your spouse set marriage goals? Share your thoughts with...

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