Cheating Husband

by Velma
(United States)

Question: Separated four times, been married 19 years. Husband committed adultery and still cheating with same woman for four years. We are now separated for the fourth time. I am a Christian. I keep excepting him back. Each time he is put out he moves in with his sister. We lost our car and everything due to him refusing to stop. I love him but he just won't do right. His family accepts other drunk girl friends. My family says divorce him because he won't change.

Answer: Hi Velma, we are sorry that you have to go through this. Your family is right, your husband will not change unless Christ does a work in his heart. Without a complete yielding to God, your husband will continue to repeat the same pattern of behavior. We can not tell you to divorce your husband. That is a decision you will have to make on your own. We can tell you that according to Scripture, you are free to divorce because of adultery.

Although we are not at liberty to tell you to get a divorce. We will advise you to remain separated from your husband until he demonstrates a REAL heart change. A heart change means he has given his life to Christ. Unfortunately, you have already set a pattern with him of allowing him to come back home time after time without REALLY changing. In all likelihood he is expecting you to do the same thing this time. So, this time don't allow him to come back merely because you are lonely -- stand your ground. You will only find yourself right back in the same situation.

At some point, you must begin to look out for yourself. So, use this time of separation to concentrate totally on renewing your relationship with God. Allow God to heal your broken heart. Get involved in a local ministry. Surround yourself with Christian women. Read your Bible and pray regularly. Give the situation totally to God and allow God to do what only He can. After a few months of praying, and watching your husband from a distance, then make a decision as to whether or not to divorce him.


We hope that helps you a little. We will be praying for you.

Love in Christ,
Mike and Wanda


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