Christian Marriage Covenant?

by Anonymous
(Michigan)

Question: Christian Marriage Covenant. I have been dating my first and only boyfriend for 5 years now, and we are both Bible-believing Christians who love Christ. I was naive in the beginning, and went along with whatever he said because I trusted him. He said he believed the Lord wanted us to make a covenant with each other, much like a marriage covenant without the legal certificate. We vowed to never leave each other, to always be faithful, he promised to protect me and I promised to submit in all things. We made our vows to each other and finalized it with communion. Now, 4 years later, I have begun to doubt him and I fear he may be lying to me about a lot of things. I have told him many times that I don't want to be with him anymore, and sometimes he gets extremely angry, or cries hysterically. He won't let me get away, and he says that I don't have the option to leave because I made a covenant before God. (He is operating off the verse that says if a man divorces and remarries for any reason other than sexual unfaithfulness, that he commits adultery. He sees a break of our covenant as divorce.) Since I made this covenant before God, he says that if I break it, I will be in rebellion to God and therefore will go to hell if I die without making it right again. PLEASE, I need some godly advice. Will I go to hell if I leave him and break this covenant? Please support your answer with scripture. Thank you.

Answer: Sweetheart, first let us first begin by telling you that you will not go to hell for breaking up with your boyfriend. Once you have accepted Christ into your heart, you are saved and that's it! The Bible says in John 10:28-29 that God gives us everlasting life and no man can pluck us out of his hands. So settle that in your heart right here and now. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You belong to God now and forever. Unless of course you decide to reject Christ.

Regarding this "covenant" that you and your boyfriend made. Please don't be offended but that was not of God. The Bible says in Romans 13:1-2 that as Christians we must obey the laws of the land whether we like them or not. The laws of our land say that in order to be married, there are specific legal channels that one must go through to accomplish this. You and your boyfriend did not follow the law of the land. Which means you did not follow God's Word. Which means there is no covenant. There is only a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Which you can walk away from at anytime.

If your boyfriend is threatening physical violence or if you feel that he could possibly harm you, don't break off the relationship in person. And at the very least, involve a third party and make them aware of his behavior. You are not bound to this young man Biblically, or legally based on the information you have provided us.


Praying for You,
Mike and Wanda