Christian Marriage Qeustion: My Husband decided he doesn't believe in God

by Denise
(TN)

Christian Marriage Question: My Husband decided he doesn't believe in God. My husband and I have been attending church for 10+ years now and have never really discussed in detail our beliefs together. I have always been led to believe that he believed in God. He recently told me that he didn't think he believed and didn't want to go to church anymore. He got MAD when I disagreed with him. We have argued for months about this. He has tried to "convince" me that there is no God. He has now told me he is not going back to church. All of this, I can handle. Don't like it but he is a grown man and makes his own decisions. Problem is he wants to tell our children(13, 10, and 6) that they do not have to believe and do not have to go to church. I REALLY need some advice on how to stand my ground here. I don't know what to do to keep my children from being influenced by his distorted views of Christianity. He has told me I am intolerant because I do not care what other people believe and do not want my children to learn about other beliefs. I just want to keep my children in church and keep them on the right track. It is so hard these days and I am not sure how to handle this with my husband.PLEASE HELP!


Answer:

Hello Denise:

First, we want to encourage you to remain strong in the Lord and NEVER give up hope. You must walk in complete faith and trust that God will work on your behalf. The Bible says that an unbelieving husband can be won over by the behavior of the wife. So be sure to guard your responses to your husband. The enemy is out to destroy your family and he wants to use you to help him do it. But don’t cooperate. Don’t give your husband the opportunity to say, Christianity is all a farce because you have lashed out at him in anger by your words or deeds. Your lifestyle will be the greatest witness right now to your husband and to your children.

Next, you must begin warring for your husband daily in prayer. You should also consider confiding in someone at your church whom you know will pray and keep this information in the strictest of confidence. If your church has a prayer team, maybe you can share it with the prayer team leader and ask for intercession on your husband’s behalf. Or, make an appointment with your pastor and ask him to begin interceding for your husband. Please be very selective about who you share this with. You don’t want this to spread around the church and cast your husband in a negative light. If that happens, he most certainly would not come back to church.

Pray for your husband daily. When you pray, make sure you are praying God’s Word (using Scripture). Below is an example using a prayer we adapted from “For the Family” by Sylvia Gunter:

Lord, I pray that my husband will be delivered from the deception of Satan and will come to know you in an intimate way. Your plan for him is Christ Himself, and in Him are contained all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge (Col. 2:2-3). May he not be fleshly minded but spiritually minded which is life and peace (Romans 8:6).

I pray that you would bring back to his remembrance the teachings of Christ and cause him to accept them so that his life will be enriched and he will become wise (Col. 3:16). I pray that you would send godly people across his path to witness to him and point him back to you. Remind him daily of your wonder and glory in the simple things of life.

Thank you for opening his mind and his heart to understand and receive all things pertaining to you. Thank you for drawing him back to yourself by your Holy Spirit. I thank you that he will not be conformed to this world but he will be transformed by the renewing of his mind in Your Word, so that he may experience Your good, acceptable, and perfect will (Romans 12:2).

Finally where your children are concerned, we know your first instinct is to go on attack. This is just a natural response when a mother feels her children are in danger. But again, your responses to your husband are going to be crucial. Besides that, there’s more than one way to skin a cat, as they say.

First, attempt to reason with your husband calmly. Explain to him that just as he was raised Christian and then became mature enough to make a decision to no longer be a Christian, the children should be allowed to do the same thing. They simply are not old enough to understand and make a mature, logical decision. Let him know that too many abrupt changes in a child’s life can be damaging for a child. Children need stability. And so, making such an abrupt change is likely to confuse them greatly. Children do not think like, or process information the same as adults. If your husband still insists upon telling the children that they do not have to go to church. Then as his wife, you must not fight him on this. Remember we said there’s more than one way to skin a cat? Well, if you can’t take your children to church, then you must bring the church to them. How? We’ll give you a few ideas. But you should also pray and ask God for creative solutions.

1. In the Bible, children were taught about God through stories/testimonies shared by adults concerning what God had done for them in times past. Tell your children stories before they go to bed about times in your life, or their life when God did something special.

2. Pray with them before going to bed.

3. Put love notes in their school lunches with Scriptures.

4. Get them children’s books about the Bible.

5. Be available to answer any questions they have about God.

6. Write Scriptures in their birthday cards.

These are just a few suggestions. As we stated, pray and ask God for more ideas. The bottom line is, a child does not have to be in church in order to learn about God. If the enemy is going to be that determined to erase Christ, you must be even more determined to include Christ. Don’t be afraid, trust God. Don’t argue with your husband, respect him and keep your witness. Keep praying diligently and expect God to work on your behalf. NEVER give up hope!

We will be praying for you.


With Christ's Love,
Mike and Wanda