Christian Marriage Question: My Husband Dislikes Sex

by Elizabeth
(Houston, Texas)

Christian Marriage Question: My husband doesn't like sex. I have been married 2 years . My husband lost his job. I am a few years older than my husband. He has prostate problems. We have not been intimate in a year and half. He has had problems with his teenage son.

He will do anything for me but he does try to be intimate expect for a hug or kiss. We argue a lot and I am depressed even though I am a christian. He told me he did not care that much for sex and it may not happen as long as he has problem. He says he loves me. I lost my first husband in 2005 who was sick the whole time (10 years). I prayed for a christian husband. My husband reads and prays all the time. He and I knew each other previously (19 years) We both married different people and he said he did not marry me due to the fact he wanted a child and I could not have one and I was more into my career.I had a lot resent at first. He said he believes that God put us together. I am discouraged I want this marriage to last, but I need help.

Answer: Hello Elizabeth. Thank you so much for visiting Christian Marriage Today. We suggest you sit your husband down and gently tell him how much you miss being intimate with him. Let him know how special he is and how special that time together was for you. Ask him if he would be willing to compromise with you so that you are both fulfilled in your relationship. Remind him that marriage is about each person attempting to meet the needs of the other. A compromise might look like him agreeing to be intimate two days out of the week, or one if that's all he'll agree to.

On the other hand, if he is not willing to compromise with you in this area, there needs to be professional intervention. You didn't say but did his sexual desire change when the prostate problems began? Are the two connected? It is also possible that his testosterone levels are low. So again, he may need to have a few test run.

Finally, if the problem appears to psychological rather than physical, we recommend he see a sex therapist to try and uncover the real issue.

In the meantime, be sure to keep your husband covered in prayer. And keep your trust in God.



In Christ,
Mike and Wanda