Christian Marriage Question: Self Pleasure

Christian Marriage Question: Does the Bible say anything about self pleasure in the area of sex when one partner or the other either will not or can not participate in normal sexual activity? I have searched and have not found anything. I have conflicting opinions within my own mind.


Answer: When you say "self pleasure", we assume you are speaking of masturbation. No, the Bible does not speak on whether this is permissible if one partner will not or can not participate in sexual intercourse.

We believe masturbation is a sin for unmarried Christians. But we feel consensual masturbation between husband and wife is permissable as long as it is consensual and the following things are kept in mind:

- It must not involve pornography.
- It must not involve fantasizing about other people.
- It should not be done as a means of self gratification when the two of you have had an argument.
- It must not be kept a secret from your mate.
- You must be careful not to be overtaken, as masturbation can become addicting. Any addiction is sin.

The above guidelines should be followed if a spouse is unable to participate in sexual intimacy. However, if a spouse is able to perform sexually but merely refuses to do so, this we believe is an entirely different situation. This behavior is likely an indicator that there are hidden issues of the heart. In such cases, self gratification is not the answer. The two of you would need to seek counseling to uncover the real issue. Or at the very least have a conversation about what the problem could be.

We hope that answers your question.


Blessings,
Ministers Mike and Wanda