Depressive Marital Issues warranting suicidal thoughts

by Debra
(Tennessee)

Depressive Marital Issues warranting suicidal thoughts: Suicide is trying to convince me I am not worth living, my whole being is broken in spirit. I question my purpose of existence. Why does God allow me to be in this state of severe depression? My name is Debra, I am a 38-year-old female who suffers from depression, whose marriage is falling apart all around me, and whose life of joyful living is lost. My husband and I have both had affairs that devastated us both, my husband is still currently involved in his affair, however I chose to end mine as of a month ago. We also have a 15-year-old son who has unfortunately been victimized by the demises of Satan within our family due to irresponsibility of his dad and my adulterated behavior. Everything was so good and perfect while honoring and reverencing God…then 1 day everything turned upside down when we became self centered and disobedient toward our Lord. I do not know who or what my husband is anymore, and I often times question myself in several ways. We have both made mistakes, I have admitted my mistakes, I have asked God and my spouse for forgiveness, and however my husband takes no accountability for his contribution of hurting our family, our marriage, himself, and most importantly God. I consider myself a loving, and forgiving individual whose prayer request is that God’s will be done in my life, my son’s life, and the life of my husband (whatever that may be). I pray God gives us both another chance to make things right within the marriage we professed before him over 15 years ago, and that ALL demonic forces that are attempting to destroy this marital union be destroyed forever this time. I have fallen on hard times with my health, my finances, and relationships. I pray and I ask God for his FAVOR in my life ASAP, I am ready to change for God finally. I know my live is important to the Lord, the value he sees in me I am blinded to see. Please pray on behalf of myself, my husband Nelson, and our teenage son Austin, that we all are on 1 accord without separate agenda’s. I truly do not desire to continue on this Damascus path, I would love to return to God and my family like the prodigal son returned home to his father, I pray my husband will accept me back the same way the prodigal’s son’s father accepted his return…with open arms, acceptance, and genuine forgiveness. May God richly bless whoever prays on behalf of my family and me, you will truly be saving lives. God bless you, amen.