Does God Want You to Stay in a Bad Marriage?

by Lonely
(Canada)

Question: Does God Want You to Stay in Bad Marriage? I want to leave my husband of 2 and half years. He found the divorce information that I was gathering. There is something spiritual going on here and I can't handle it anymore. There are too many lies and secrets in this marriage. We fight about everything and even if I ask him a question he will not answer me. He makes it like he didn't hear me and when I ask again he talks to me with such disrespect. I can't even call him when he is out without him acting like I'm annoying him. There has been incidents with him communicating with other women friends. I don't have a problem with that but they would speak a different language to each other. Which would make me feel uncomfortable. She was also writing inappropriate thing to him on Facebook. I asked him to tell her that it was wrong and to stop. He would not and so I told her. I asked him not to speak with her anymore but they would still talk secretly to each other. He even made a secret Facebook account just to talk to her. Now there is this other women who moved here and he is always going over to her house to help her....alone! I told him I do not feel comfortable with this and he blew up. The authorities were also involved. On top of that he looks at pornography online. I have caught him multiply times and now he deletes the history. There is also no intimacy in the relationship anymore after I had two children by him. There is also no communication in this relationship at all. I have asked him if we could go to counseling but he refused and says I have the problem. I feel worthless and alone. I have given this to God to work in his heart but when I gather the information and proceed with the divorce I'm leaving. Is this wrong of me? Does God want me to feel worthless and ugly and not a person to deserve love?


Answer: Hello, dear sister. You asked, "Does God Want You to Stay in a Bad Marriage? The answer is God wants us to keep the covenant that we made in His presence. Unfortunately, that sometimes comes at a painful price. It's not always easy but the bottom line is, God hates divorce. That is what the Bible teaches.

It seems that you are set on divorcing your husband. And frankly, it's no wonder you feel that way, his behavior has been TOTALLY disrespectful and selfish.

But rather than jumping right to divorce, why don't you first try a temporary separation. In all honesty, according to the Bible, you have grounds for divorce because your husband has been unfaithful to you.

Even if there is no proof of a sexual relationship, there is plenty of evidence of an emotional affair. And by God's standard's, that's adultery.

So, we say, if your determined to leave, start with a separation and make marriage counseling a requirement for reconciliation.

Also, begin to focus your attention on Christ. Rededicate your life to Him again. Start going to church, praying, and spending time with Godly friends. One other thing, if during the separation, your husband still refuses to get counseling, go to counseling alone. Considering all that you have been through, counseling would be very beneficial.

Praying for you,
Mike and Wanda