Does Marriage Counseling Work?
We Reveal the Truth
Does marriage counseling work? Will it resolve the issues you're having in your relationship?
Those are legitimate questions. You obviously don't want to invest time or money into counseling if it's not going to be fruitful.
The truth is this, marriage counseling can not save your marriage. Neither can a marriage counselor.
If that surprises you, give us a minute and we'll gladly explain it further. But first let us tell you what marriage counseling can do.
Here are a few things marriage counselors can provide:
- Marriage counselors can make suggestions and provide unbiased opinions.
- Marriage counselors can offer techniques for working through difficult areas in your relationship.
- Marriage counselors can act as mediators.
- Marriage counselors can facilitate communication.
That's exactly what I'm looking for, you say. Well perhaps it is but that alone won't save your marriage.
What will save your marriage?
100% commitment from both you and your spouse.
Now let's get back to your original question...
Does Marriage Counseling Work?
Marriage counseling without commitment will not work.
But marriage counseling will work if both partners work it!
Sadly, the problem we often see is that both spouses are not willing to do the hard work it takes to rebuild their marriage.
Typically, the commitment level of one spouse is often much higher than it is for the other.
Furthermore, the spouse whose commitment level is on the lower end, agrees to attend counseling only as a way of appeasing their mate.
Sure, they show up for counseling week after week but always with a wall between them and the therapist.
Over a period of several months, you realize your marriage is no better than it was when you first started.
How Can You Avoid Wasting Time and Money?
Well, it's like this --- you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.
That means you can provide a person with an opportunity, but you can't force them to take advantage of it. The same is true regarding marriage counseling.
You can persuade your spouse to accompany you to counseling, but you can't make them participate once you get them there.
So what should you do if your spouse does not want to attend marriage counseling? Simply put, don't force the issue.
As we stated previously, if you force the issue of counseling before your spouse is ready, the end result will likely be frustration and disappointment.
But that's not to say you should give up hope.
Pray and ask God to show you other options.
Perhaps alternative Christian marriage counseling would be better received by your spouse. Maybe even better suited for your situation.
Alternative counseling methods are equally as successful at providing couples with the tools they need to transform their marriages.
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