Foreplay for Engaged Couples

Foreplay for Engaged Couples: Hey, so both me and my fiance are Christians and are trying desperately to do the rite thing according to God's word. We were engaged approximately 3 years ago and plan to get married in June of this year. However, foreplay became a part of relationship in its early stage n its something that I'm not quite comfortable with now as I started thinking it was wrong in the eyes of God with reading the bible n stuff. I am able to control the urge, but my fiance is having difficulty in doing this and views it as I probably don't love him as much anymore n ultimately places some tension in the relationship at times. So my ultimate question is "Is foreplay(masturbation, "rubbing " etc) acceptable for an engaged couple trying to live a christian life?" Any advice on how to respond and cope with this situation is greatly appreciated.

Thanks much!

Answer: You are correct, foreplay is not appropriate for unmarried couples. Foreplay creates an intense lust or desire to have sex. The Bible says that lusting after someone that you are not married to is wrong. In fact, Jesus even equated lust to adultery (See Matthew 5:28).

We suggest you gently explain to your fiance' that your willingness to do this in the past was wrong on your part. Then apologize to him for your error. Tell him that your eyes have since been opened to the truth and that your desire now is to please God fully. Assure him that it has nothing to do with your love for him but EVERYTHING to do with your love for God. If he is receptive, then share the following Scriptures with him: James 1:15, Galatians 5:16, and Matthew 5:28. However, if he does not receive what you are saying and insist upon making it about him and ignoring God's commands, then you may want to seriously reconsider your decision to get married. Not having the same zeal to please God can become a major problem between spouses after marriage. It's a problem we see far too often.


Blessings,
Mike and Wanda