Girlfriends Promiscuous Past

Question: My girlfriend confessed her promiscuous past including sex with a married man in her past in a time of rebellion from Christ. She was young and vulnerable and had childhood wounds. She sought counseling and has embraced forgiveness from her past. I am a virgin and always placed a high value on my virginity as a gift to my future spouse. I feel cheated. I feel disappointed. I am having a difficult time trusting in her character or ability to make good decisions. I am angry at her for her choices. Before she told me this I was so captivated by her, but now I want to quit. Christ demands forgiveness. Do I continue in the relationship with her and how do we work through this?

Answer: Please excuse us for being so blunt but you have absolutely no right to be angry with your girlfriend! It seems you take too much pride in the fact that you are a virgin, wearing it like a badge of honor. Well, shame on you! We can only imagine how difficult it must have been for your girlfriend to confess her sinful past. But she did so because she loves and trusts you with her heart. She trusts you with the most shameful details of her life.

The Bible says that love covers a multitude of sins. That is, real love. If you really loved her it would not matter what she did in her past as long as she has since repented. You see, real love does not judge, which is what you are doing. When the truth is, you too have made poor decisions in your past. You may not be guilty of fornication but you are guilty of other sins -- you are not perfect. And your illusion or expectation that your girlfriend or future wife should be perfect is immature on your part. Should you continue in the relationship with her? Honestly, no you shouldn't if you are not mature enough to accept her for who she is just as Christ has accepted you. You should ask yourself if you REALLY love this young woman or if you have merely been infatuated with an illusion of her.

The blood of Jesus covers all sin, who are you to reach through the blood and hold her sins against her?



With Christ's Love,
Mike and Wanda