God help my marriage work

by Konnie
(Lesotho)

God help my marriage work: We have been married for only three months but all we ever do is fight. He does as he pleases and I am beginning to hate him. He seems to have two personalities, calm, loving and really committed and then disrespectful, arrogant and self destructive. I am running out of patience and always irritable. I have prayed for this marriage but it feels like I have been given a snake when I ask for the fish. On weekends he just goes around without me knowing where he is.

He seems very reluctant to share his money, yet he is expecting me to give him all my income. Every time we have to talk finances a fight is picked and we never do. I am beginning to secretly save money so that i can sneak out of this marriage.

I don't know how to communicate my feelings and thoughts. I always tell him half the stories. I don't feel free and worse I don't know how to do it. Sometimes I don't even want to do it.

I feel like he makes things worse every time when there is a fight between us. More like adding more paraffin on fire.

I have lost faith in Marriage. I don't see how I can ever be happy while married.

Please God you are the only one who can make this Marriage work. Guide me, molt me, rearrange me, reconstruct me. I give all of myself to you.