He proposed marriage but I'm not sure

Question: He proposed marriage but I'm not sure. My boyfriend and I are both Christians and have been together 6 and a half years. Last week he proposed to me and although I love him and had dreamed about marrying him for a long time, at the key 'Yes' moment my heart first said 'No', then 'Maybe' then 'I don't know'. Finally I said yes, after about a minute of silence.

We discussed my doubts at length and he was very supportive, but eventually we decided to announce our engagement to our families. Now I feel as though wedding preparation has begun and I have not resolved the burning question of whether or not is it really RIGHT. I love him but sometimes imagine him different, or fantasies about a different marriage partner. Sometimes I feel that I am not proud of him. He is my best friend though and knows, cares for and understands me more than anyone. Sometimes I feel an immense sense of peace about marrying him, and sometimes a wave of doubt sweeps over me. I've prayed and prayed and asked friends and families for advice but never seem to arrive at a satisfactory conclusion - in general people think it is just cold feet. Please help.

Answer: We say, when you are unsure of what to do, don't do anything. In your case, if you are unsure about marrying your boyfriend, don't. Go with what your spirit is telling you -- not what other people say. Marriage is not something you can "try out," it's a LIFE TIME commitment. And while that probably almost sounds like a cliche'. Just imagine spending the next 60 years married to someone that you don't respect and admire.

If you are not proud of him, then you don't have the level of respect or admiration for him that a woman should have for her husband. And trust me, Michael and I were discussing this just the other day; If a woman does not respect and admire her husband, that marriage will go down hill quick. And that would likely be the case with the two of you because you are not completely satisfied with him the way he is. Sure, he's a great guy and you love him but love and friendship are not enough to keep your marriage together. Furthermore, you shouldn't have to talk yourself into it.

So, put on the brakes while you still can. Don't let this run-a-way train get too far down the tracks. Do not make your decision out of a sense of obligation. Follow the leading of the Holy Spirit who lives on the inside of you and you won't go wrong. You said you prayed about it, right? So, listen to that nagging feeling.


With Christ's Love,
Wanda