How do you deal with a husband who is suppose to be a christian and is abusive phsically and emotionally was abused himself and wants me to have sex with other men

Question: I am a christian. I married a man that was abused and now is abusive, and wants me to have sex with other men and himself. He's a sex addict.I engaged in emotional infidelity with someone although I don't think the guy ever new I has developed strong feelings toward him. I repented and told my husband and he wanted to know what I thought how it made me feel if I had had dreams I refused because he was turning him on sexually. Please what do I do I am desperate my heart is crushed I am truly broken.

Answer: Hello Dear Sister. Thank you for visiting our site. First we want to let you know that God loves you and He wants to heal you of your broken heart.

You mentioned that your husband was abused early in his life. As you are probably already aware, it is not uncommon for victims of abuse to become abusers or display other dysfunctional behavior. This is especially true when the person did not receive any type of professional intervention. Did your husband receive counseling for the abuse he suffered earlier in his life? If not, you should sit down with him and tell him how his behavior is affecting you and the marriage. Ask him if he would be willing to see a professional counselor for the sake of saving your marriage. If he refuses, don't be deterred in your efforts. The two of you MUST get help. So, move forward on your own and find a good sex therapist. Begin attending the sessions without him. That's right -- without him. You have to be that determined! By doing this, you will gain professional insight on how to effectively deal with a sex addict. This will prove to be invaluable.

Now, if your husband has begun to abuse you physically, emotionally, or verbally. If that’s the case, then you must go into protection mode. You must remove yourself from the situation (separate temporarily). At such point, reconciliation would be contingent upon him getting the help he needs. In other words, you would not come back home until he gets help for his problem. You see, until you begin to set boundaries and make counseling a requirement, he will continue down the same path and things will continue to escalate. Never...Never stay in an abusive situation.


We will be praying for you.


With Christ's Love,
Mike and Wanda