How to get back your wife's trust?

by Claude Hall
(tampa,fla)

Question: How to get back your wife's trust? Hi, I submitted a prayer request on marriage to touch my wife's heart on yesterday. I have broken the trust of the marriage between me and my wife.I made a vow to God when I repented to him and asked him to forgive me for the way I treated my wife and the way I was disobedient to God.How do I earn my wife's trust back? I am not looking for a quick fix,because I know that it will take some time,but I am willing to work as hard as I can.We are sleeping in separate rooms and we don't talk much, I would like to talk with her and pray with her,but for now all I do is pray for her.(1)So how do I earn her trust back?

Answer: Hello Claude, we pray you are well. You submitted two questions, but our guidelines only allow one question per site visitor. This is because of the enormous amount of questions we receive on a daily basis. We hope you understand. So, here is the answer to your first question.

We feel your pain and understand this is a rough place for you. But the good news is that God is able to make all of our rough places smooth. Hallelujah!!! Claude, in order to gain your wife's trust back you must completely yield yourself to Christ and be Christlike in all of your dealings with her. Believe it or not, a life yielded to Christ has the power to transform the lives of others. Even the Bible tells us that we can win over others with our Christlike behavior. Mind you, this is not an overnight process.

So even though you have said the words "I’m sorry," your actions must now begin to line up with your words. The characteristics that you should begin to display are the “fruit of the spirit”. One of the fruit of the spirit is long suffering. We point this out because this journey is going to take time and a lot of patience on your part.

Other ways to rebuild trust involve being completely transparent with your partner. In other words, be vulnerable not "the tough guy". Also, begin to be transparent regarding your activities, i.e., where you're going, where you've been, etc.

Because you and your wife are technically living "separately". We highly recommend you read The Prodigal Spouse. All of the principles within the book can easily be applied to your situation. Not only will you find it useful for building a bridge to reconciliation, you will also find that it is like applying a soothing ointment to your wounded spirit.


Be encouraged brother and know that God has forgiven you and He is still with you. We will be praying for your situation.


With Christ's Love,
Mike and Wanda