I Just Found Out About My Husband's Affair

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I Just Found Out About My Husband's Affair

My husband just told me after I saw the text messages that he sent to his mistress. It is day two and I am angry, scared, frustrated,and confused. This is not the first time but this time its a pulpit affair between 2 ministers. I don't know what to feel or how to react. He is saying that he wants to be with me and be married. He says that he wants to break away from her. But they said that they are in love with each other. How do we come back after this? I have to see this woman every Sunday. I'm asking God for help and 1 Corinthians 13 keeps coming to mind. I'm angry cause shouldn't love have stopped him and the Holy Ghost stopped them????!!!

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I Just Found Out About My Husband's Affair

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Sep 24, 2011
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the process
by: Anonymous

Hello my dear sisters in Christ, After I went to my ex-Pastor about this my husband left me and my children with nothing. The pastor knew it was her daughter but they made me feel like I was wrong for saying anything. The whole black church world where we live knew about it and most came to my aid. I was told that I was not the first wife to fall victim to this woman. God did teach me so many things I could write pages but I will tell you the main things. I had made the grave mistake of thinking that my husband and my pastors were beyond their flesh since they were ministers. We are all fighting our flesh but sometimes our flesh wins. I had put them on a pedestal and I fell apart when they failed me. I viewed everything they said from the pulpit as a lie but God corrected that: His Word is forever True, the people are flawed. He also taught me that He is my All in All. When my husband left I was a stay at home mom. God gave me favor with my landlord and all the bill collectors. They waited till God gave me a great job after 4yrs of not working. God sent me Godly friends and showed me the wolves in sheep's clothing. I now have a new outlook on the Church. While he was gone was angry, I cried when needed, i talked to married people and those who have a ministry of grace. God allowed me to experience a hurt like no other, church hurt.

Thousands of people are scared and destroyed due to people using the pulpit to cover their dirt. God is exposing so much to the Church these days. In this I can truly say that is was good that I have been afflicted that I may learn His way!
My husband did ask to come back home in Jan 2011. He came back with a strong drive to be with his family and help other men not make the same mistake. The road has been sooooo hard and many days I wanted to give up, because I have biblical basis to leave. Yet, I also have biblical reasons to fight it out. Our family is a testimony that God can heal if we let Him. Pride goes before a fall!! My husband has this on his tool bag at work as a constant reminder. I keep it at my desk to keep me in check also.

My dear Sisters our God is sooo able. Keep praying for us and we will be praying for all of you that may go through this or have gone through this.

Love Your Sister in Christ!!!!!

Mar 28, 2011
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I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOUR MARRIAGE
by: Anonymous

My dear sister in Christ:

So many times we do not listen to the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost tells us what is right and wrong but even in that he gives us 'choices'. Jesus does not force himself on us and he will not force his way upon us. He has given us free will to 'choose ye this day whom ye will serve'. Your husband did as many of us Christians do in many other areas in our lives. Choose to ignore the Holy Ghost speaking to us.

He has been blinded by the enemy. God is Love and God has no part of Sin. Your husband is in LUST and that is SIN. The enemy has customized it to make it feel enjoyable to him so he will not recognize the danger he is putting his soul in. You must be his covering and pray that his eyes be opened and his ears. Pray for the power of conviction to overtake him. Bind the spirit of Adultery that has come into your home and loose the spirit of Love, Let up the windows and open the doors and speak to the spirit and DEMAND it to leave in the name of JESUS !-Felicia

Nov 17, 2010
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in Response to "Keep it Low"
by: Min Wanda

It is true that we must be careful with whom we share such delicate information. But we must also be careful not to allow Satan to shut us up out of pride and shame. Satan will have you so bound by pride and shame that you won't even reach out to those who can minister to you.

So do exercise wisdom, but don't become overly concerned with "what other people may think" because that is a form of pride. The Bible says, God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.

It is only when we are brave enough and shameless enough to expose our sin that God can do a deep healing within both spouses. As long as we keep it covered in order to "save face," real healing can not take place. Remember, God can use our trials as a testimony to others.

Nov 17, 2010
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Keep it low
by: Anonymous

I have gone through infidelity and my word of advice is the less people know in your town the less humiliating for you and him it will be. I think telling anyone about it only makes it worse. Keep your head up listen to Gods guidance and pray he is always in your marriage teaching you and your husband the way of his word. God is listening and always there to help if you let him.

Oct 27, 2010
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Allowing God to Change You
by: Shirley

Again, the situation that you are currently facing is painful, but it is not impossible for God to fix if you allow Him to. Romans 12: 17-21 and 1 Peter 3:1-4 give instructions to us so that we'd be able to withstand storms that arise in our lives. Believe God as He does a work in both of you. If you will allow God to minister to your spirit and walk by faith and not by sight, then you'll recognize the positive aspect of this painful experience. This test that God has allowed is not to inflict harsh pain upon your marriage, but it's allowed to help you walk through victoriously in Him. Prayerfully, you'll use this experience to witness to others that God is faithful; he'll never leave or forsake you. How do I know this? You will change from the inside out, because God takes complete control when you allow Him to. You can not hang out with God and not change. Oh, by the way, I've been married 45.5 years, and I've allowed God to change my life. I've never been happier or felt more complete. God bless!

Jul 24, 2010
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How are you sister?
by: Anonymous

Dear Sister,I saw your article and it brought me to wonder how things are faring now between you and your husband. I am also surviving infidelity at this moment and reading articles in this website for guidance and counsel. I pray that we will both come out victorious in this trial. We will triumph over this with God's help." No weapon formed against us shall prosper"..and you know,you are blessed...because you know that God is on your side.Those involved in the affair will be dealt with in God's own timetable.Just stay pure in heart.Keep praying.I am seeing the power of prayer in my own situation.I believe that God will show you how He will work mightily on this one.Press on, mighty woman of God!

Jun 12, 2010
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Focus on Christ
by: Anonymous

No, not unless the Lord is leading you to do that. At this point, focus on your relationship with Christ and praying for both your husband and your marriage. Fix your eyes on Christ and do not be moved by your husband's behavior. Neither should you accept any blame, or guilt from him. What he did was his choice and the repercussions that follow are the consequence of the choice he made.

With Christ's Love,
Wanda

Jun 10, 2010
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This is Day 4
by: Anonymous

Hello, thank you for your advice. I talked to my Pastor yesterday. I told her about the affair and what my husband told me. The one thing I didn't tell her was the name of the woman. The reason for that is the other woman is the Pastor's daughter which is our youth pastor. She is older than me and my husband and she did confess that what he said was true. My Pastor called my husband and asked that he call her. When I came home from church he was raging mad at me...saying he should've never told me and that I should've have kept my mouth shut.Now he wont talk to me, speak to me, or even acknowledge that I'm around. Should I be the one to tell my Pastor that its her daughter, should I have kept quiet? Why do I feel bad when I didn't do anything?

Jun 08, 2010
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God Will Take Care of You
by: Min. Mike and Wanda

Hello Dear Sister:

Michael and I are lifting you up in prayer even at this very hour. We can only imagine the devastation and pain you must be feeling. But remember, God's grace really is sufficient and His strength is made perfect in your weakness. That means you don't have to be strong, just lean on the Lord and allow Him to carry you through this. You asked why the Holy Spirit didn't stop them? The Bible says that the Holy Spirit's job is to lead us into truth. We, on the other hand, must be willing to follow His leading.

Sweetheart, if your pastor is not aware of this situation, he must be made aware immediately, especially since your husband is one of his ministers. Your pastor will want to meet with everyone involved and offer his counsel. Also, marriage counseling should be a requirement if your husband really wants to save your marriage.

Finally, draw nigh unto God and He will draw nigh unto you. Take your eyes off of the storm and begin to focus all of your attention on the Lord. He loves you with an everlasting love and will lead you safely to the other side if you trust Him.

With Christ's Love,
Mike and Wanda

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