I'm so tired of our dysfunctional marriage should I leave?

Question:My husband and I have been married for ten years and from the first day I felt frustrated. We are always arguing, never on the same page. Over the years this has made me become emotional and physically detached from him. I'm extremely unhappy and want to leave. However, we have three children and I can't support them on my own. I believe the root of our unhappiness is financial ( he's tired of paying all the bills until I finish graduate school)and his emotional flare ups stemming from growing up with his adopted father and not his biological father. I am very compassionate and spiritual, but lately that has not been the case. I've recently had thoughts of reconnecting with a prior relationship.

Answer: Hello, you mention that your marriage has been unhappy from the beginning, but you make no mention of marriage counseling. The two of you need to seek professional Christian counseling of some kind as soon as possible. There are a lot of underlying issues that are still unresolved. If you continue in your current frame of mind without seeking professional help, you will likely end up having an affair, divorced or both. I can say that with certainty, because I've been exactly where you are.

You also said that you are compassionate and spiritual. This is good, but this is not enough to keep your marriage together. The question I have for you is "are you saved?". Additionally, is your husband saved? I'm certain you identify yourself as a Christian as many people do, but have you actually ever prayed the prayer of salvation and accepted Christ into your heart? Have you given him control over your life? If neither you nor your husband has done this, this is one of the biggest pieces missing in your marriage.

Here is a prayer you can pray if you've not formally accepted Christ:

“Lord Jesus, I believe that you are the Son of God, that you died for my sins, and that you were buried and rose again on the third day. I am sorry for the sins I have committed against you and ask that you would forgive me of all my sins. Come into my heart and take control of my life. Take my life and make it the way you want. I confess you now as my Lord and Savior. I turn from my old ways and confess that I am a new creature in Christ. Thank you Jesus for saving me, Amen.”

My friend, the Bible does not allow us to leave our spouses merely because we are tired of dealing with the issues. Marriage is a lifetime covenant. Your marriage can survive but Christ must be invited in. Right now, you are focused on the wrong thing. You should not be focused on leaving your marriage, or seeing someone else. You see, no relationship is perfect. You would merely be trading one problem for a whole set of new ones. I know the grass looks greener from where you're sitting, but it's not.

Water your grass by inviting Christ in, seek professional counseling, and get actively involved in a local church. The fellowship and support found at a local church would be good for your relationship.

Leaving your husband is not the answer.


Peace and Blessings,
Mike and Wanda

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