I'm Trying to Survive Infidelity

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I'm Trying to Survive Infidelity

by please no
(IL)

I'm Trying to Survive Infidelity: I am currently dealing with my wife having had an affair. It is the most difficult thing I have ever experienced. And yet, I realize that my actions prior to the affair, though didn't cause it, cultivated her to search elsewhere for intimacy. I don't have a magic answer, either on how to cope or more importantly how to win her back. We are separated, still talking and in counseling but in different communities. I request that anyone and everyone who reads this, lift us up to God. Although our names aren't listed, God knows who penned this email and will honor his word of where two or more are gathered.

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I'm Trying to Survive Infidelity

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Mar 20, 2012
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Wife had an affair and now wants to divorce.
by: Jon

About seven weeks go I found out that my wife was having an affair. I had suspected this earlier and even had a friend tell me that he thought she was too. I had asked her to stop seeing this guy before I found out and she refused saying she values her friendship too much. I have always been a good provider and always put my family first (2 children). I have always loved my wife deeply but have often resented how she treated me many times with contempt. After finding 2 e-mails I confronted her and she said it was all a joke. That she jokes around like that with all her guy friends. Two days later she admitted to an "emotional affair", and that she didn't want to be married anymore but was thinking about it. About 2 weeks after that I found a valentines letter from him (after she had gone away for 3 days during valentine's day for "work"). This letter pretty much said it all. It talked about the sex they'd had and drugs they did together and went on and on about the connection they had. It discussed trips they had been on that she had lied to me about and more horrific things. She then admitted to having phone sex with him but I believe this was just a cover for real sex. At this point she says the marriage is over and that she hasn't loved me for 12yrs (married 14). I know I wasn't the perfect husband but I always treated her well and tried to be the best husband I could. This all took place after our house caught on fire and we were out of our house for four months. We were under insured so I had to do most of the work myself. She hired one of her friends to help with the restoration. He was the other man. There are more very painful details to this story. I just don't understand how she could do this when I was actively praying for God to intervene and help in our marriage because we had been disconnected for almost 2 years. It doesn't look like there's any chance for our marriage here and we haven't even told the kids yet. I am so heart broken because I really do love her. Or did anyways. I don't know how I feel now. I found all this out on the day when I got out of bed and asked God for one good day since it had been so long since I had had one.

Mar 06, 2012
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CHEATED BY MY HUSBAND WITH A 17YEAR OLD GIRL
by: Anonymous

I AM HURTING MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN CHEATING ME FOR THE PAST FIVE YEARS. I DID NOT KNOW BUT THE LORD DIRECTED ME TO SEE HIM IN BED WITH A WOMEN ALMOST MY DAUGHERS AGE. AM 40 MY DAUGHTER IS 17. I CAUGHT HIM IN BED AND HE HAS NOT TURNED BACK HE DOES NOT SHOW REMORSE NOW HE EVEN BRINGS THE YOUNG LADIES IN MY BEDROOM IN MY SHEETS. I REALLY DO NOT KNOW WHAT I SHOULD DO . I HAVE BEEN PRAYING AND FASTING BUT THE MORE I PRAY THE MORE HE VERBALLY AND PHYSICALLY ABUSES ME. I CANNOT BE INTIMATE WITH HIM ANYMORE BECAUSE ALL I SEE IS THE SIGHT OF HIM WITH THE OTHER LADY. HE HAS TOLD ME THAT I AM TOO FAT AND HIS GIRLFRIEND IS YOUNG AND SLIM I HAVE SIMPLY GIVEN UP. I NEED STRENGHTH TO CARRY ON . I DO NOT WANT TO BE IN MY SITUATION.

Feb 10, 2012
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save my marriage help
by: Anonymous

I'm a wife struggling with these issues as well. In this case I was the cheater not once but 3 times and on top of that a drug problem. I hurt my husband so bad and i wish i wasn't foolish. He says that he can never trust me. I can't blame him. The hard part is we live together with our two kids. He needs me help with watching them cant afford daycare. But everyday he reminds me that we are not together. I refuse to leave because I'm trying to believe God to restore our marriage. My husband says he's miserable. I just want to make him happy and be the family we once were. It hurts so bad knowing I made this mess. Help I want to restore what we had. I love him so much HELP

Nov 30, 2011
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A survivor of infidelity
by: Anonymous

I recently found out my wife had an affair.One thing for sure it was the most painful day of my life. And I feel I need to remind everyone of us that are married, did not our vows say for better, for worse? It wont be easy but love conquerors ALL even unfaithfulness.

Nov 02, 2011
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Dealing with a lot of pain
by: Anonymous

I am a young wife struggling with the same issues but I was the cheater, it only happen once while I was away in another state. We have so much distance in between us. I just really want my husband back in my life. He was very upset with me when I told him and wanted a divorce and since then has said okay to a separation but we are currently in the same house. I am not sure what to do, we started counseling a week ago. We have 3 children together. I am lost...Please help!!

Oct 07, 2011
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I Feel Your Pain
by: Anonymous

I am going through the pain of a separated wife and adulterous wife who I love dearly. It hurts beyond explanation. I will pray for you as I hope you will for me.

Jan 27, 2011
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Jesus!!!
by: Anonymous

Heavenly Father you are so great and we are so sinful Lord forgive each of us in these marriages that have not honored you. Father help each of us husbands and wives to learn to Love the way you Love us. Agape Love the way you Loved us enough to come to our earth and live among us common people yet sin not. Help us Lord God to see how we need to be humble in our relationships (marriages) Love the other more than ourselves. Father draw us never to you for we know that you are the only way we can get beyond the hurt. How wonderful you are Lord God to help us a married couple who have sinned against you through numerous acts prior to adultery along with the act of adultery, yet when we ask you God through the power given to us by our Savior Jesus Christ to forgive us you do God and you restore our souls. Amen!! Thank you Father God for restoration and thank you Father for this couple who asked for prayer. Lord God I a child of yours going through the same tough situation of adultery and my sinful acts prior to that which had pushed my wife away, ask for your mighty healing touch to contact these two husband and wife. And Lord restore them for your Glory, as I also ask the same for my own marriage. Thank you God for the blood of Jesus and the ability to come to you cleaned by the blood help us to accept each other the way you accept each of us. In the sweet name of Jesus I pray Amen..

Jan 13, 2011
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I'm trying to survive infidelity
by: Anonymous

I am experiencing the same situation as you. My husband has affair and refuses to give up on her. It was the most difficult situation. You have to be patience and let God works with the problems. You pray and show to your wife that you are a true person. Just be yourself - real person who has a pure heart. It takes time. Everything is possible in God plans. He knows what is the best for us.
It helps me a lot to lean on God. I still struggle with my husband and sometimes I feel no way out. But God reminds me. I don't do my way but His way that is always perfect. Trust Him, He will guide you what to do, what to say, where to go. It takes your faith to let Him work on your marriage. Good luck and peace be with you.

Jan 13, 2011
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Biblical help
by: Lee

Dear friend here is good advice for what you are experiencing. Go to www.christianpost.com and read the marriage articles by Edward Ridenour in the woman's section of the site. He opened my eyes on how to understand situations just like yours.

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