Marriage that never got started properly

by Sarah
(Pennsylvania)

My husband and I have been together for 7 years, but we've only been married for one year. The problem is, nothing has changed. He hasn't kept any of his promises. We still live in separate homes, he does not regularly provide financial support for the children, and does not have regular contact with them. Things have gotten so bad that he refuses to talk to me, although I have asked him to meet me so we can talk, etc. He has not yet left his parents in order to cleave to me. He hasn't taken any steps toward making a home for us all to live in. He doesn't even really show that much interest in seeing the kids, and no interest in seeing me at all.

Despite all this, I still love him. This past winter, I got my first job as a nurse, and it was a very stressful transition for me. Being totally overwhelmed with my new job and the kids (who were very sick all winter long), I ignored the advances he was trying to make toward me to go on a date, or go on a weekend trip, etc. But, in all that time, I kept praying for God to have his way in my life and for His will to be done. I thought I didn't love my husband anymore and was just waiting for him to send me divorce papers, because I was just at my rope's end with all of his wishy-washy ways and his broken promises. I was, and am, still deeply hurt. I feel as if the kids and I have never had a proper place of priority in his life, and it hurts bad. But I believe that through the prayer, God has softened my heart and restored in me a love for this man. The problem is, now he is refusing my advances. I'm afraid I blew it.

I am currently fasting and praying. I'm asking for a heart change for both me and my husband and for God's will to be done. Although I love him, I'm not sure if the marriage will be saved...for unless he can truly leave his parents, and become a strong man in the Lord who will make his family a true priority, how can it work out?

I am a believer, and I really repented of my sinful lifestyle and started to follow Christ in earnest about 2 years ago. He wasn't a believer, but now does attend the same church as me and he says that he has accepted Jesus into his life...and I do believe he has. But the spiritual growth and maturity hasn't happened in him yet, and all of those old patterns and habits still have a hold on his life, and that is what is keeping us apart.

Please pray for me that he and I both have the necessary heart changes that God would want in us...and pray that a strong Godly man would come into his life to mentor him and provide him with accountability and who can show him how a man of God should live...because he has had no examples in his life. His father is a womanizer, very selfish man and a troublemaker. And his mother wants to be the only woman in his life, to the point where he is afraid to tell her we are married because when she found out we tried Christian counseling once, she had to be rushed to the hospital with chest pain. She told her son that he "went behind her back" by going to counseling with me. After that, he refused to go back because he didn't want to hurt his mom. His mother has literally kept us apart, physically, mentally, emotionally. There are very strong wicked spirits keeping us apart, I truly believe that.

I will pray for you all,,, please pray for me, and thank you. God bless you all. When any two of us ask for something under heaven, God will grant it...He promises that. Let's believe for miracles and claim them, and above all desire God's will, and not our own. xoxo Sarah