Married to a non-christian man

by Connie

Question: Married to a non-christian man. My husband knew God was important to me when we were dating and he seemed to be supportive and have the same beliefs for about 5 years. Now he says he doesn't like church, won't pray or study w\me. Likes beer and that type of party atmosphere. I don't. I am not happy & feel he was dishonest so I would want to be with him. He also has no patience where my son is concerned. But expects me to do all for his son, whom I love but wish he would give my son at least the benefit of the doubt. He has a lot of good qualities but God and my son are both very important to me. I still read my bible go to church listen to Christian Music. He isn't interested. I also pray everyday and night. I feel guilty for feeling like I wish I hadn't married him? My first husband of 14 years was the same with God and our son. I didn't want that again I wanted a Godly husband.

I find myself a little drawn to christian men friends that seem to lead the life I have always wanted. I wonder if God's plan for me will never include that.

Answer: Hi Connie, the first thing you must do is get a handle on the "battle field" within your mind. Your constant thoughts of dissatisfaction with your husband and with your marriage are creating an open door for Satan to creep in. It starts with you being just a little attracted to other men, and it ends with you having an affair. I know because I've been exactly where you are right now in my first marriage. And yes, I ended up having an adulterous relationship. So start by taking control over your thoughts with the Word of God. Next, be very cautious about spending too much time talking to men other than your husband. Don't run from them but do put limits and boundaries on yourself. It may appear that they are living the life you've always wanted, but remember the grass always looks greener on the other side than it really is.

You feel as if your husband tricked you but it's unlikely that happened. I bet if you look back on things now, you can see signs that your husband was not really saved. You likely thought that he would conform to that which was important to you because he loved you. Merely "knowing" that God was important to you was not enough to cause a heart change within him. He has to have his own personal relationship with Christ independent of what's important to you.

So now what? Stop focusing on the life you wish you had and begin to ask God to help you make the best of the life you do have. Be the spiritual example in your home. Become an intercessor for your family. Pray for your husband's salvation. Pray for his relationship with your son. Everyday ask God to remove the resentment and regret, and He will. I also recommend you read this article in the Christian wives cafe'. It's called An Unhappy Marriage and was written by my friend Linda Miller.

Don't give up my sister. Be encouraged my sister and keep moving forward. Trusting God as you go.

With Christ's Love,
Wanda