My Christian marriage has very little love and feels empty

by Mary
(Oklahoma CIty)

My Christian marriage has very little love and feels empty: My husband and I have been married for almost a year. We are very weak minded individuals. We don't have the common first year marriage arguments, ours are much deeper, and more damaging. We often fight over if we really love one another. He cheated on me while we were dating and I only found out by accident, this has troubled me from the start. I have very little trust in him. Once we got married I made a huge mistake by telling him often how unhappy I was and how I wanted a divorce. So in turn he no longer trusts me in our marriage to be here for longer then the day. We are both so critical of one another and our love often seems circumstantial. I know God can heal this, I know he can make it right again.... We have a lot of problems, so many that I would take hours listing all of them, we started going to marriage counseling several months ago and that seemed to help the fights from occurring but we just learned how to avoid the fights, the problems deep down still exist and show their faces from time to time; when they do, they are bad. I just want to be free, I want to be a good wife, not a quarrelsome wife. We moved away from our family due to jobs our first month of marriage so I have no lifeline.. I'm desperate!