My Husband Just Left Me and I'm 7 Months Pregnant

Question: My Husband Just Left Me and I'm 7 Months Pregnant. I pray the Holy Spirit gives you wisdom and insight as to the answer to this question. I am 7 months pregnant, newly married (10 months)and my husband just left me due to me seeing a live Facebook chat session he was having with two women and both conversations were about sex. This is not the first or second time this has happened. He sent me a text to tell me he was leaving (he says he doesn't like to be checked up on and monitored) after I asked him to explain what I saw. He blames everything on me, i.e., finances, lack of sex and reasons why he can't make money and pursue his dreams. I am working full time and he is receiving unemployment. My husband seems to still be living as a single man, therefore I would like to know how do I handle this situation? I have spoken to my pastor and he advises me to be still and allow God to deal with the situation. I don't trust my husband. Only when he has been caught and asked me what I know does he go on to explain what happened. Yes, I have caught him in a lie before. I believe there are 3 sides to every story and (I) have been adjusting areas that he has stated are a problem for him. Again, with the limited information I have presented I pray that you are able to offer wisdom and direction. Thank you in advance for your assistance.


Answer: Hello Sister,

We congratulate you on the new life you're about to bring into this world. But we are deeply saddened to hear about the condition of your marriage. And so very sorry that you have to go through this. As you have already stated, there are always three sides to every story. Of course without knowing your husband’s side of the story, we can only respond to what you have written.

As a married man, your husband has no business secretly communicating with other woman on Facebook. In fact, it is our stance that husbands and wives should not engage in friendships with anyone of the opposite sex if their spouse is unaware of the relationship or uncomfortable with it.

Your husband says he doesn’t like being checked up on. But he fails to see that his past behavior has given you reason to check up on him. You don't trust him because he most likely hasn’t done anything to rebuild your trust from the past You see, anytime there is a breech in trust, the perpetrator must work diligently at rebuilding that trust. If the perpetrator does not actively participate in rebuilding that trust, then he will remain untrustworthy in the eyes of his mate.
So we ask you, what has your husband done to rebuild your trust?

Regarding what you should do, the first thing we suggest you do is probably the hardest. That is, don’t chase your husband. Stand still as your pastor has suggested and give God your undivided attention. No amount of talking or texting from you is going to change your husband. He needs to mature in many ways but only God can do the work in his heart. So begin to intercede for him daily. If you don’t know what to pray, purchase the book The Power of a Praying Wife – by Stormie Omaritan. You’ll find a ton of helpful prayers within the pages of that book. We also recommend you invest in the Prodigal Spouse. This is a book written by Minister Mike and Myself for couples going through separation. It goes beyond the advice of “stand still” by giving you detailed instructions on what to do while you’re waiting.


Whatever you do, don’t make the mistake of allowing your husband to come back home and the two of you pretend nothing ever happened. There are guidelines and boundaries that need to be implemented now as well as when he returns. Otherwise, he will continue to repeat the same behavior again and again.


It doesn’t sound as if the two of you received any type of premarital counseling prior to marrying. Well, counseling needs to be a prerequisite for reconciliation. That is, if your husband decides he still wants the marriage. If you can’t afford a professional counselor, then inquire with your pastor about pastoral counseling. But don’t allow your husband to simply come back home and let it be "business as usual."


Finally, know that God has not forgotten you. He knows your name and feels your pain. Stay in His presence daily through meditating on His Word and praying. You may not feel that you can trust your husband, but rest assure you can trust God 100% to take care of you and that precious life growing inside of your womb.


We love you and will be praying for you. Remember, take your focus off of your husband and refocus your attention on the Lord. Please let us know if there is anything more we can do.


“For I know the plans I have for you says the LORD. They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11



With Christ's Love,
Mike and Wanda