My Husband Wants a Divorce

by Riona Pillay
(South Africa)

Question: My Husband Wants a Divorce. Greetings in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.We have been married for 13 years and in the last couple months my husband has been unfaithful to me and his whole attitude has changed towards me. He says he does not love me anymore and he wants out. I am trusting in the Lord for restoration in our marriage but it gets so difficult at times. From this Monday there has been a change in his attitude but I don't know what to think of it. I am trying to being a better wife so that he can see that there is a change but at times it gets too much and it seems like I am the only one that is doing everything. Please can you tell me how I can show him that I am changing for the better and How can I save this marriage . I believe and trust in the Lord and know my Lord is going to see me through this. Thank you for this website that you all have put together, it is a great help. I know that God has great things in store for you all and it is going to take you all further in the ministry. God Bless


Answer: Hi Riona, we are sorry to hear this news about your marriage. But the answer is not changing yourself so that your husband will stay. You alone are not the problem. Marriage is a "two way street". In other words, both of you have issues that need to be changed, not just you. And if your husband is not willing to accept his role in the breakdown of the marriage or make any changes, then there is nothing you can do to change his mind. Only God can do that. Your husband must be willing to change and from what you have said, he's not.

So, begin now to focus on the Lord. Allow God to love you the way He wants to love you. Put all of your trust in Him. Not only trusting that He will save your marriage but trusting that He will keep you in His hands no matter what happens to your marriage.

Begin praying that God would save your husband and cause him to give his life to the Lord. But don't do anything to try and manipulate your husband or convince him to stay. Place it in the hands of the Lord and trust God no matter what. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He loves you with an unconditional, never failing love daughter.

So don't make anymore attempts to change. Trust God to do what you can't. But keep in mind that trusting God does not mean that you will not be hurt. Neither does it mean things will work out the way that YOU want them to.

If your husband is asking for a divorce, we also suggest you seek legal counsel now in order to make sure that your best interest is served if/when the divorce is finalized. That's called using wisdom.

We love you and will be praying for you.


In Christ,
Mike and Wanda