My Husband Won't Work

by Betty
(Laurens SC USA)

Question: My Husband Won't Work. Is he using me or do he have a mental problem. We didn't get to know much about each other when we got married should I divorce him. He goes to church with me, and he plays the drums in church, but he doesn't want to get saved. I have asked him several times and he said no. What do you think is wrong with him. Should I get another man and divorce him because he doesn't seem like marriage material. I think I made a mistake in marrying him do you think so? What should I do about this?


Answer: Hello Betty. It is very possible that your husband is suffering from mental illness. It may be something as simple as depression but only a doctor can make that diagnosis. So, we recommend you first encourage your husband to see a doctor in order to be evaluated. Next, if you are suffering financially, we suggest you get in touch with your state's local well fare office and apply for assistance. There are many resources available to assist families in times of hardship, you just have to be willing to swallow pride and take the help.

You asked if you should divorce your husband.
Well, as a Christian, you should know that the Bible does not make provision for divorce because your husband won't work or does not appear to be marriage material. You see, marriage is symbolic of the relationship Christ has with the church. Christ loves us unconditionally. His relationship with us is a covenant, not a contract. Contracts can be easily voided when one party does not live up to their end of the bargain. But covenants are enforced over a lifetime unconditionally regardless of how each party behaves. Which is why marriage should not be entered into lightly.

You say you feel you made a mistake in marrying your husband. Don't be offended, but if you were a Christian at the time you got married and your husband was NOT saved, you most certainly did make a mistake. The Bible warns us against being yoked with unbelievers. But in such cases the Bible says that you are to remain married unless your unbelieving husband wants to leave. If that is the case, you must let him go. But you can't simply divorce him if he wishes to remain married. That Scripture goes on to say that the unbelieving husband may be won over to Christ by the behavior of the wife. You can read that Scripture in ICorinthians 7:13-15.

So, what's the bottom line? The bottom line is this. Even though you may have made a mistake. The Bible does not offer a way out of your marriage simply because you were not fully aware of (whatever) when you got married. It's kind of like the laws of our country. The laws of the land still hold us accountable for speeding, theft, murder and so on even if we say, "it was a mistake", or if we claim ignorance of the law by saying "I didn't know", we are still held accountable.

So Betty, again, see if your husband will get a medical/psychological evaluation. Approach this with wisdom by suggesting he get an annual physical. Seek out other resources in your state for financial assistance. And finally, place your focus on the Lord and begin interceding for your husband daily asking God to save him. The Bible says that it is not God's desire that any man would perish. In other words, God wants your husband saved. So pray for him daily and just continue to show him the love of God rather than trying to convince him with your words. Let God do what only God can do. There is NOTHING to hard for Him.


Praying for You,
Mike and Wanda