No Sex in Christian Marriage

by Sharon
(Ontario)

Question: No sex in Christian Marriage? Hello....I really need advice here.I am 49 & my fiancee is 52. We have been together for sixteen months. We love each other so much & we know that God has put us together. The only problem is that he is not able to give me sex, he is impotent & his penis is very small. I find that we do have a lot of spiritual & emotional intimacy, but that is not enough for me. I do not want to give him up, but not having my sexual needs met is very frustrating for me. I am also very concerned for him; I want him to have sexual satisfaction.

Answer: Hi Sharon. As you may or may not already know, there are other ways of pleasing a person sexually without having intercourse, i.e., oral sex and vibrators. Also, has your fiancee sought medical advice for his impotence problem? There are ways to work around this. Therefore, everything should be taken into consideration.

But it sounds as if you already know what's best for you but you just don't want to let him go. You said, "I find that we do have a lot of spiritual & emotional intimacy, but that is not enough for me." If you already know deep down inside that not having intercourse is not enough for you, then you should let him go. It's that simple. Otherwise, you are being unfair to him and yourself. And as a result, you will experience many problems in your marriage later as a result of you not being honest with yourself. Finally, if the two of you are currently engaging in premarital sex of any kind, that needs to stop.

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Blessings,
Mike and Wanda