Pre marriage Advice Saving Myself for Christian Marriage

Question: Pre marriage Advice Saving Myself for Christian Marriage. I am not quite yet engaged, but it is coming very close to it... My boyfriend and I met at Bible College where we started dating. After awhile of dating we talked about past physical relationships that we have had where I found out that he is not a virgin. It kind of broke my heart a bit because I have been saving myself for marriage and always dreamed of my husband doing the same. But after lots of prayer and counsel I have decided to see him how God sees him as pure and clean, made new through Christ. But I still struggle sometimes with thinking that when we do get married, will I be thinking on my wedding night about how I compare to the other girls he has slept with.. How do I make sure that I have truly forgiven him for everything that has happened in his past? What can we do to make me feel comfortable with knowing that I have no idea what I am doing and he already knows what he likes..

Answer: Hello. Thank you for visiting our website. We will do our best to answer your question. You asked, "How do I make sure that I have truly forgiven him for everything that has happened in his past? What can we do to make me feel comfortable with knowing that I have no idea what I am doing and he already knows what he likes.." First, it is our opinion that there is nothing that you need to forgive him for. He did not know you at that time. Therefore, he did not sin against you. He sinned against God alone. If he has already repented before the Lord and asked for God's forgiveness, then that is all that is required. You have no need to forgive him.

So then why, is this a struggle? Well, it's possible you are sitting in a position of judgment. Judgment can easily rear it's head when we think more highly of ourselves then we ought to think, as the Bible says. For instance, to some degree, you are probably proud of the fact that you have been able to avoid fornication. Pride in your own accomplishment could cause you to have a really difficult time accepting your boyfriend's sexual sin. Now, before you deny feeling this way, we suggest you take a long, serious, and honest examination of yourself. If you find that you are guilty of judging, ask God for forgiveness and don't bring it back up again. Your boyfriend's sin is under the blood of Jesus, so leave it there.

Your second question was, "What can we do to make me feel comfortable with knowing that I have no idea what I am doing and he already knows what he likes.." There isn't anything that he can do. This is all about you. What can you do? All you can do is pray and ask God to deliver you from your insecurities. You must be confident in who you are, and also confident that this is the man God has sent to be your husband. So, the bottom line is this, you've got a lot of soul searching and praying to do. We'll be praying too.


With Christ's Love,
Mike and Wanda


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