Pre Marriage Question- Should I be First?

by Kim
(Maple Valley, WA, USA)

Question: Should I be First? My fiance and I work schedules that overlap. We only have one day a week off together and he says that he wants to spend most of that day with his 3 year old granddaughter. He says that shouldn't be asking too much. He has agreed to give me 3 hours after church on Sunday and his granddaughter gets the rest of the day. He usually is finished at her house between 10:30 and 11:30 PM and I have to be up most mornings by 4:30 AM for work. I can't live with this and can't agree to marry him with these terms. Am I wrong?

Answer: No, you are not wrong. You are a wise woman. If he is not willing to make you first now, than you will always be in second place. As his wife (soon to be), you should be the number one priority in his life outside of God. If this is the only day the two of you have off together, it would make more sense to us if he visited the children on another day? It seems he has his priorities twisted. The wife is first and that's all there is to it. We pray he comes to understand that. Praying for you.



With Christ's Love,
Mike and Wanda