Producing a child due to infidelity

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Producing a child due to infidelity

by Renee
(Burlington)

It has been 3 years and I'm still angry, confused and hurt due to my husbands lust and not exercising restraint and using common sense. The lady he sleep with is much younger and conceived a child. WE are paying child support but I'm not comfortable with the idea of the child one day having to come to our household. The adultery has not been public knowledge so no one knows that her child is by a married man. He tells me that he is sorry and feel shame for being so stupid. I did however let her know that I forgive her but I struggle daily with the hurt and betrayal. I sometimes think I must have stupid written on my forehead, my husbands says I'm not stupid for wanting our marriage to work. I constantly contemplate still leaving him but I don't want to hurt my children either. I was blindsided by this after 20 years of being faithful, what was he thinking? I can't seem to find my joy.

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Producing a child due to infidelity

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Feb 26, 2012
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Dealing with a possible child
by: Aching Heart

I've been married for 4 years and I found out last year supposedly my husband had a baby on the way. well now the baby is here and because he never handled his support issues he is now paying child support for a child he doesn't even know is his. I'm so hurt, bitter etc. I moved away thinking that would solve things but all it did was hurt our children. I'm now back but I can't seem to het the hurt out. I cry, scream and pray ufhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh please help me I pray and pray and pray because I don't wanna feel this way. I sometimes wonder if I'm making a mistake. I feel that if god didn't want us to work on it I wouldn't be here but I feel like a total fool. Please keep me In yalls prayers and I will do the same. I feel so hopeless and alone

Sep 07, 2011
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My husband affair that he had for years.
by: Anonymous

I have been married for 13 and half years. I found out a few weeks ago that my husband has a 4 year old girl who will soon be five in September. I am so hurt, that I feel like I did something wrong. I read your comments, but I still wants to let him go. The other woman put child support on him because she wanted him to leave me, so she could not have her way she want me to find out. Since it happen this way I will not give her the satisfacation that she won. So I am willing yo try to hang in there. God knows it hurts.

Jul 28, 2011
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Going thru the same
by: Mpho

My husband moved out of our home, the day i confronted the girlfriend, he has since had a child with this young woman but now he has left her. He is now involved with another younger girl. It is my hearts desire for God to restore our marriage and our family. All he does is just to be spiteful and hurt me. But i still chose to sow seeds of Love and i still tell him i still love him, but he never responds. With God nothing is Impossible, he is able to breath life to dead situations. I know God is still working in this situation.

Jun 21, 2011
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Going through the motions as well
by: Anonymous

Renee: I too chose to stay in my marriage. I know the feeling of wondering if you have stupid stamped on your forehead. It is easy to think this cause what we have chosen is out of the norm. The affair my husband had produced an innocent child. She is a blessing. I am now in the stage of learning to forgive, move forward and letting go of bitterness. I pray for all involved parties, including this young woman that my husband chose to have an affair with. God has control and through him all things are possible. I depend on God to lead me down the path that he has chosen for me. I pray that you find your way as well.

May 10, 2011
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Infidelity pain still fresh after 9 months
by: Anonymous

I am dealing with this after 14 years of marriage. I found out that my husband had a one night stand, that produced a child. This has been hidden from me for 5 1/2 years. He tells me that he is sorry, but shows no action. He doesn't have time to go to counseling, nor does he feel he needs to go to church. I am a Christian Minister, however I feel hopeless and helpless. I pray and cry everyday. I feel so empty on the inside. I am trying to find joy in my tribulations, but it is hard.

May 01, 2011
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going through the exact same thing
by: Anonymous

i am where you are except i have been coping for 4 years. i feel the same way you do. it hasn't really gone away. but I'm glad I've read your post and the comment of someone about your post.

Aug 11, 2010
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You Can Survive This
by: Anonymous

Hi Renee:

I don't think you have stupid written on your forehead. I think it's something more like, "This is my beloved daughter in whom I am well pleased." You are exemplifying the true character of Christ. And sometimes when you follow God's principals it can feel really strange because our flesh and the enemy is screaming at us all the same time, much like what happened in the Garden of Eden. Satan was able to make Eve question what God had said. Like you, she knew what God's expectation was but her flesh and the voice of the enemy were much louder. It's time to block out the voice of the enemy.

As difficult as it may be, make a decision to let go of your bitterness. Bitterness and unforgiveness are like poison. Not only to your soul but also to your physical body. Know that God has a purpose for everyone of us no matter how we were conceived. And so, He has a plan for the life of this precious child. Begin to intercede for this child that God's perfect will would be done in his life. Regardless of everything else, this child belongs to God. Therefore, all those associated with him, including you, have a responsibility in the eyes of God. Who knows, this child might someday discover the cure for aids or cancer. No one except God knows the greatness, gifts, and talents hidden inside this child.

We applaud you for taking the high road and doing the Godly thing. But now you must go even further by letting go of your bitterness, embracing forgiveness, and becoming an intercessor for your husband, this child, and his mother. Stop trying to keep the sin hidden form others and just swallow pride and deal with it. If the two of you need to get marital counseling, then do it. Believe it or not, you are not the only Christian couple who has gone through this. Others have traveled this road and survived. In many cases, the child ends up being a blessing.

But you will not be able to do this in your own strength. You will need to stay in the face of God daily. You must revive your prayer life, your fasting life, and your Bible reading time etc. Lean on the Lord and allow Him to do a work in your heart. Remember, we have all sinned and fallen short of God's glory. (Romans 3:23)

Let God be glorified even in this. Stay encouraged. We'll be praying for all of you.

Min. Wanda

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