Restoration of my marriage and everything back the enemy has stolen

by Debbie
(Canyon Country, Ca USA)

Restoration of my marriage and everything back the enemy has stolen: I am going to try and make this short as possible of a very long story. My husband & I are both Christians. He was a prodigal boyfriend. I prayed and fasted for God to restore our relationship being I felt that God placed it on my heart that he would be my husband.I tried to fight it but confirmation after confirmation I gave in. Juan said he never would get married and he has never been in love and it will never happen. God gave me the miracle of us getting married. He said he was in love with me and God told him I was the one for him. We found out his 1st marriage was never finalized he felt horrible. He didn't know. He immediately filed for divorce. It will be final at the end of this month. During the waiting we looked up accidental bigamy. Some states say when the divorce is final the 2nd one will be valid. I don't know if this is true or not. My husband loves the Lord. 3 months into our marriage he felt like he married his bestfriend. He said he wasn't in love with me. He said he doesn't want to settle with just loving me. It wouldn't be fair. He said he needs to establish a personal relationship with God before he is in a relationship. He says God has the right one out there for both of us. I prayed for God to choose the man for me in the beginning and I met Juan on a Christian dating site. He told me once God brought me to him and I completed him. Now he said he said he was in love with me and married me because he must have been lonely. Please. I have been praying for Gods desire and if this isn't his then to take it away. Juan is in my heart everyday. Do I pray for restoration for my marriage or do I have to wait til the end of the month? If we went by the Bible law he gave the wife a divorce permit for grounds of adultery, We did marry in the eyes of God. I am trying to get Gods vision. His family loves me and told him he finally found the right person to complete him. He use to say that too. Now his heart has changed. He isn't cheating or anything. Our Pastor told him he had deep issues that needed healing but he refused to go to any more counseling! he said he was at peace! He still wants to go to church. He said I can stay in the house until we have to move from forecloser. Then he wants to go separate ways and then he will file. I don't know what to pray for anymore. It seems so hopeless but I want this marriage to be restored so bad! I pray for a sign of hope to keep standing in the gap! Also he went to a therapist to find out why he has never been able to love. she said bcuz his bond was so strong w/his mom before she died when he was 19 he would never be able to bond with another woman. My pastor said it sounded like doomsday from the therapist.

He just told me today he would file after the holidays so I can realize it's really over.