Search Me O God: Marital Issues Prt. 2

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Search Me O God: Marriage Issues Prt.2

“Search me  O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  Point out anything in me that offends you and lead me along the path of everlasting life” Psalm 139:23-24.


A heart-shaped box of chocolates is nice, if that’s what you enjoy, but it won’t do much to change the trajectory of your marriage if there are underlying issues.  With that in mind, and Valentine’s Day approaching, we’re continuing our discussion about the heart.  Click here to read part one.

Search Me O God

We recently made a decision to sell our house. As a result, we now have a growing list of projects to complete.  If you’ve ever sold a house you know that there’s more to it than simply placing a “For Sale” sign in your front yard.  There’s a period of preparation that includes repairing, replacing, and decluttering.  The decluttering phase is usually when you discover just how much stuff you really have.


Some discoveries make you smile and others make you scratch your head.  Like my collection of gift bags! Why in the world did I feel compelled to recycle every gift bag that I’ve received over the past few years? A few bags are okay, but bags stashed under our bed, behind our dresser, and in the tops of our closets was just… well…unnecessary.


The same question can be asked concerning your heart.  Why are you holding onto so much unnecessary stuff? You’ve been stashing things into the crevices of your heart for so long that you’ve forgotten just how much stuff is actually in there.  Worst of all, you’re completely unaware of how it all impacts your attitude and behavior towards your spouse and others.

Search Me O God

That is why doing regular heart checks to expose and dispose of hidden issues is so vital.  At the suggestion of David, who prayed “Search me O God,” let’s solicit the help of Father today and ask Him to reveal anything in our hearts that is offensive to Him and detrimental to the growth of our marriages this year.

Here are just a few examples of issues that could be hiding inside your heart along with their related symptoms:


The Fearful Heart

Runs away, refuses to trust God or your spouse, afraid of what the future holds.

The Regretful Heart

Always thinking “I shouldn’t have gotten married”, or “I should have________.”

The Discouraged Heart

You feel as if things will never get better; like there’s no hope.

The Prideful Heart

You’re sarcastic. You seldom accept fault. You do very little self reflection. You blame others, and you criticize your spouse often.

The Insecure Heart

You’re skeptical, jealous, suspicious, and controlling.

The Covetous Heart

You’re dissatisfied with what you have and thus you are always comparing and desiring the life, marriage, or possessions of someone else.


Did you find yourself on the list? If so, it’s time to put forth an effort to finally get rid of that stuff. Any one of those issues has the ability to dismantle your marriage if not dealt with. The remedy is to search your heart and then declutter.


But what if you couldn’t relate to anything on the list? If you didn’t find yourself on the above list, that doesn’t mean there aren’t things hiding inside your heart that don’t need to be dealt with. Daily asking God to search your heart and reveal anything that is unpleasing to Him is a habit that all of us as born again believers need to acquire.


Remember, your unresolved heart issues are a reflection of your relationship with the Father and what you REALLY believe to be true about Him.

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