The Sex After Marriage Rut
How to Improve Sex in Christian Marriage!

The Sex After Marriage Rut

You can't quite put your finger on when it happened but the fact of the matter is -- sex just isn't as exciting as it used to be. There was a time when the two of you would rush the kids off to bed just to have some extra play time together. But these days, you're more interested in watching the late night news or cuddling up with a good book.

It's not that you don't like sex anymore. And it certainly isn't because you don't love your spouse. So then, what's the deal? Well, there are a number of things that could be wrong. But why not start by asking yourself the following questions:

1. Has our lovemaking become predictable and boring?

Anything can become routine and mundane over an extended period of time, and sex is no exception. In fact, sex after marriage can become so predictable that it loses it's allure. While we are creatures of habit, the truth is that most of us still enjoy a little variety.

Do you remember that old television commercial about Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pops? The kid asked Mr. Owl, "Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop?" The answer was three according to Mr. Owl, who ended up eating the kids lolly pop after licking it three times!

I'm afraid to ask, but is that how it is in your bedroom? You're in such a rush to get to the grand finale that you end up doing just the bare minimum everytime, no more -- no less? You know exactly where and what to rub first - second - and third. You've got the boring routine down to a science.

But sex after marriage doesn't have to be boring. Wanna know how to spice up sex? Be deliberate about switching up the old routine. Read a few Christian books on how to have better sex. From there, try adding different techniques and positions into your lovemaking each week. Breaking the monotony will bring a fresh excitement into your bedroom.

3. Am I too consumed, overwhelmed, or stressed out?

In today's world, it seems multi-tasking has become the norm. Doing several things at one time may sound efficient but the long-term effects can be detrimental to your relationship. Do either of you stay up late working on the computer, bring work home with you, or constantly check your emails etc.? if so, this could be a sign that you are far too consumed with the cares of this life. It also could be the reason why you have no interest in sex.

Furthermore, if you have been short tempered, experiencing aches and pains, or having difficulty sleeping, stress could be the culprit. Remember, making love is just as much of a mental activity as it is a physical one. If your mind is always someplace else, then it stands to reason that sex would not be at the top of your "to-do" list.

2. Are there unresolved issues between us?

Remember, sexual intercourse is more than a physical act, especially for women. Before a females body can become physically aroused, she must first be mentally aroused.

Having said that, if you and your spouse have a history of arguing, and holding on to bitterness, this is likely the reason why watching the evening news is more appealing to you than making love.

If an offense occurred recently or even years ago that sent your marriage into a downward spiral, it's possible your marriage has not fully recovered. Perhaps it's time the two of you to sat down with a Christian marriage counselor. You may think you can work through certain issues on our own but the truth is, you can't.

After all, if the issue has not resolved itself by now -- it most likely won't. But it can get worse if the two of you continue to ignore it rather than seeking help. The sooner you get help, the sooner your sex life can get back to normal.

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