Sex in the Bible

Like many Christian couples, Michael and I were clueless when it came to knowing what was and was not okay in our bedroom.

For us, it was a matter of praying and listening to the Holy Spirit. For you, we have made it easier.

This page is divided into three parts;
In Part 1, we give you a list of sexual acts that the Bible speaks against.

In Part 2, you'll learn seven easy principles for determining whether a sexual act is wrong or not.

And in Part 3, we put these seven principles into action by giving you three practical examples.




Scriptures on sex in the Bible

Adultery: This is sex with someone other than your spouse. In Biblical times, adultery was punishable by stoning. In the New Testament Jesus gives adultery a whole new definition by saying that a married man who lusts in his heart for another woman is in fact guilty of adultery. See Matthew 5:28.

Fornication: The word comes from the Greek word porneia and means "unclean". This is when you engage in sex outside of the covenant of marriage. However, in the Bible, this word has been used when referring to adultery, sex with a prostitute, and sex with your stepmother. See 1 Corinthians 5:1, 6:13,15-16, 7:2; Matthew 5:32; and 1 Thessalonians 4:3.

Homosexuality: The Word of God says that it is detestable for a man to have sex with another man and a woman to have sex with another woman. See Leviticus 18:22; 20:13; Romans 1:27; 1 Corinthians 6:9.

Incest: Sex with a relative or family member. See Leviticus 18:7-18; 20:11-21.

Lustful Passions: This refers to out of control lust for a person other than your marriage partner. Also, remember that this now equates to adultery according to Jesus. See Mark 7:21-22; Ephesians 4:19; and Matthew 5:28.

Prostitution: Paying for sex. See Leviticus 19:29, Deuteronomy 23:17, and Proverbs 7:4-27.

Beastialty: Sex with an animal. See Leviticus 18:23

Rape: Forced sex without consent. See Deuteronomy 22:25,28

That's it, but does that mean everything else is permissible? No, it doesn't. So, how do you know for sure what is permissible in the Christian bedroom? Simply match it up with the Word of God and see how it compares.




sex in the bible

7 Biblical principles you can use as a guide:

The next time you have a question about a particular sex act, just use these seven principles to help you make a Godly decision.

• Sex should only be between a husband and his wife. Matthew 19:4-5
• Sex should always be God honoring and never bring harm, pain, or shame to your spouse. Ephesians 5:29
• You should not look at others with lust. Matthew 5:28
• You should not persuade your spouse to do something that she or he believes is sinful. Romans 14:1,14
• You should never imitate the sinful world. Romans 12:2
• You should never withhold sex from your spouse unless it is by mutual consent.
  1 Corinthians 7:5
• You should not be addicted to or controlled by anything other than the Holy Spirit.
  1 Corinthians 10:12, 10:23

3 Practical Examples

1. Masturbation and the Bible - Are there any Scriptures that speak against masturbation? No. Is your spouse okay with you masturbating? Are you fantasizing about someone other than your spouse while masturbating?

If your spouse is okay with it and you are not fantasizing about anyone else, then we see nothing wrong with a spouse masturbating. However, if you are doing this in secret or substituting it for sex with your spouse during times of discord, this is wrong. Reconcile with your spouse and come back together.

Be aware that masturbation can become addicting and therefore violate the seventh principle on our list -- so use caution.

2. Anal Sex and the Bible - Are there any Scriptures that speak against it? No. Does it violate any of the seven principles? Yes -- principle number two. Anal sex can cause pain, scarring, and feelings of shame. With that being said, we don't believe anal sex is God honoring in the Christian bedroom.

3. Oral Sex in the Bible - Are there Scriptures that prohibit oral sex? No. There are actually Scriptures that describe oral sex between Solomon and his wife. However, if your spouse is not in agreement with this, you should not force the issue. This would violate principle number four.

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