Should I Get Married?

by Rhonda
(Chandler Az)

Question: Should I get married? Hello my name is Rhonda and I am a non denominational Christian. I am dealing with the issue of should I commit my self to marriage to my non Christian fiance. I thought we could work through the fact that he is a non Christian but the more I learn the more I experiences with him I am so torn. I love him I know he loves me. I see it feel it he shows it daily. We keep having the same issues pop up.. I have a Christian heart. I think of others I try to find the best in every situation. We are called to do that I believe I fine joy in helping people and helping them feel good, safe, secure and vital to this world and my life. Tonight we got in to a disagreement again with something very close to my heart and that's family. His daughter who is 19 and in school. Is going through some difficult times. An ex-girlfriend of her fathers called her and told her she had a brother and that her dad , my fiance', doesn't want to acknowledge or even take the time to see if it is his child. He just says it couldn't be. I just found all this out tonight. I don't know how old the child is I just know that he is grown. He told me tonight about the child and about what he was going to do with (name removed). He is going to tell her to either stop putting him second place against everyone in life or he is going to stop providing her with medical and a phone. I told him my thoughts on how that goes against everything I believe in and he just said I cant help it that you want to hand everything to people.. what do I get out of giving her these things. It hurts so bad to think that I have given my heart and self to someone who hates and hurts so. I know that his not knowing the love of Christ is the reasoning behind his actions. I don't know what to do. I love him and I have given my self to him in commitment. I hate to use But.. but I don't know if I can or should go through with our marriage in October.

Thank you for any Biblical input you can offer. May God the Father and Christ our Savior be with you as you read and respond to my question.


Answer: Hello Rhonda, we pray you are well. Thank you for sharing your concerns with us. While we understand your frustration over the recent argument, the argument was merely a symptom of a bigger problem. You see, the Bible instructs us as Christians not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers:

In 2 Corinthians 6:14 Paul says this, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"

It's obvious you sincerely love him, but as you know, it is far better to follow God instructions.

The Bible says that obedience is better than sacrifice. Meaning if you choose to be disobedient, you will pay a price for it later.

Rhonda, we wish we could tell you that you're over reacting and that marrying this man is the best thing to do. But God is holding us accountable for every bit of advice we give. Therefore, we stick to what the Word of God says.

So my friend, trust God and allow His PERFECT will to be done in your life -- not your own will.

We love you and will be praying for you.


You may also find the following two articles helpful:


Equally Yoked
Preparing for Marriage



Be Blessed!
Mike and Wanda

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