Should I let my husband leave?

Question: Should I let my husband leave? Throughout the 7 years my husband and I have been married I've worked my tail off to keep us going. My husband is disabled but receives little money, and most of what he receives goes to child support. Before we were married my husband was on drugs, was homeless or lived in a raggedy trailer with hardly anything in it and he stayed in jail all the time for not paying child support. My husbands life has improved since we've been married, mine has gone the opposite way. My credit has dropped and despite the fact that I work endless hours, we're always broke, not just because my husband hasn't done much working, but also because he spends a lot more than he makes. He puts his wants before our needs(including our son's). His major obsession is trucks. He constantly and carelessly trades vehicles and ends up spending money working on them, just to end up trading again. Every year including this year when tax season comes up the first thing on his mind is getting a truck, arguing that he has to have one to make money with or we have to have one to move. I argued that he's had millions of trucks and he didn't make money with them, he spent money, and we can rent a u-haul. My mother is bad about interfering in our relationship and always puts her opinion in. My husband starts packing his clothes. My husband does this to me all the time to control me into giving him his way like a non custody child. He threatens to leave me if I don't give him his way. I don't want to be alone, and I don't want him to go back to the way he was living before. Should I just let him leave next time?

Answer:Hello, we understand that you are asking if you should allow your husband to leave the next time he threatens to do so, but we feel the need to address other issues first.

First is your relationship with Christ. We feel it would be most beneficial if the two of you recommitted your lives to Christ and became actively involved in a local ministry. This we feel should be your primary focus.

Secondly, just a gentle reminder that the Bible teaches us to honor/respect our husbands whether we agree with their decisions or not. We as Christian wives must develop our prayer lives and take our concerns to our Heavenly Father when our husbands don't hear us. The Power of a Praying Wife can help you with that. You see, arguing, nagging, and fussing will do little to change his heart. Only God can do that.

Regarding your husbands threats to leave you, please don't be offended by what we are about to say, but the next time he says he's leaving, you must let him go. Your husband is an adult and therefore is able to make decisions on his own. Maybe once he sees you are not moved by his threats he'll stop this sort of manipulation.

Furthermore, you can not take on the role of the Holy Spirit in his life by trying to prevent him from going back to the life he previously had. Sometimes it's only through our poor decisions that we become willing to listen and submit to the will of God. And that's exactly where God wants us.

Right now it is important that you learn to trust God by building a deeper relationship with Him. You are fearful of being alone, and fearful of the decisions your husband could potentially make if he leaves but God is not a God of fear. Fear is the opposite of faith. And the Bible says that without faith it is impossible to please God. Hebrews 11:6

We encourage you to take advantage of these Free Bible Study Lessons. And also to become actively involved with a local church where you and your husband can grow spiritually and be mentored by Godly men and women.


Thank you for sharing your concerns with us. We love you and will be praying for you.


Be Blessed!
Mike and Wanda

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