Surviving Infidelity: 3 Things You Must Know
If You Are Surviving an Affair

(1.) It's Not Your Fault.

Unfortunately, in marriage when we mess up, sometimes our first response is to sacrifice our spouses on the alter of blame.

We make statements like, "If you hadn't done XYZ, then I wouldn't have done ABC."

Of course XYZ and ABC can represent anything you want. Just fill in the blank.

But here's the truth, no one can make us do anything, we each choose our behaviors.

Unfortunately, when we don't possess the proper conflict resolution skills, or communication skills, we become frustrated and invariably make poor decisions.

Our poor decisions are a direct response to our immaturity and ignorance.

Ignorance simply means, not knowing. In this case, not knowing how to handle the problems in your marriage.

Immaturity has nothing to do with how old you are.

Immaturity is all about how much you have grown mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as a person.

Likewise, infidelity has nothing to do with how attractive you are; there are deeper causes of infidelity.

When you consider the fact that some of the most atrractive men and women in the world have experienced the pain of infidelity, it should help you to see that infidelity is not entirely about the other person.

So, if you've been blaming yourself, stop.

You are attractive enough. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)

You are smart enough. You have the wisdom of God and the mind of Christ.

You are a one-of-a-kind designer's original, and the apple of God's eye.

It's not your fault.

(2.) Divorce Does Not Relieve Pain.

I know you're hurting, and you feel betrayed but divorcing your spouse will not take away your pain.

When you were joined in marriage to your spouse, and consumated your union, a soul tie was created.

Adam said, "This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh". The two have now become one.

Have you ever tried to separate two objects that had been glued together?

If you have, you probably found that the bond holding the two objects together made it nearly impossible to separate them without causing damage to both objects.

Well, that's a good picture of divorce.

Divorce is a tearing apart which is damaging emotionally and psychologically.

The reprocussions of divorce are often felt for years to come, especially when children are involved.

Click here to read how divorce affects children.

You see, divorce only gives you the illusion of peace and resolution.

Real peace comes from God.

And real resolution starts with understanding what is was that caused your marriage to get off track in the first place.

Understand this, if you divorce your spouse without ever getting to the core of the problem.

The behaviors you were trying to break free from could end up repeating themselves in your next relationship.

Why? Because you never took the time to uncover the real problem.

You saw infidelity as a reason to leave rather than a wake up call.

(3.) Surviving Infidelity is Possible With God's Help.

Luke 1:37 says, "For nothing is impossible with God."

The word nothing in this scripture means even your broken marriage can be completely restored.

You serve a powerful God!

A loving God who is concerned about everything that concerns you.

He wants to heal your marriage. He wants to make it the marriage of your dreams.

But He is also calling you and your spouse into a deeper relationship with Himself.

Through your relationship with Christ you will come to know, and understand how marriage is suppose to function.

Understandably, right now you're hurting and you don't know if you have the strength to continue.

Perhaps you feel that you've given all that you have to give. You may even feel like you no longer love your spouse.

Well believe it or not, you're in a good place. Why is that?

Because when you're at your weakest point, your lowest point, you have no other alternative but to rely on God.

And that my friend is what He is waiting for.

The moment you stop trying to fix things yourself and acknowledge your need for Him is the moment He shows up to give you strength.

God's grace really is enough to carry you when you feel like you can't walk anymore.

"And He said unto me, my grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness..." (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Surviving infidelity really is possible.

Here are two powerful little books that can help you ...

In this book, Danielle Easton shares her personal experience with surviving an affair after it became public knowledge in her church. Infidelity: A Journey to Forgiveness

Dave Carder offers couples hope, and encouragement as they face the pain of adultery. The first part of the book helps couples understand extramarital affairs and then healing is offered to couples dealing with this betrayal. Torn Asunder