The Husband’s Heart and His Marriage

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husband's heart

The Husband’s Heart and His Marriage

Like the helm of a ship, the condition of a husband’s heart is what primarily determines the direction and success of his marriage. If the helm of a ship is damaged then that ship may literally be stuck in the water.  The same thing can happen in a marriage when a husband’s heart is damaged, divided, or overwhelmed by the cares of this world.

 

Recently I began asking God to search my heart.  It wasn’t long after I prayed that prayer before God showed me scars on my heart that had impaired my ability to build close relationships over the years.  These old wounds had been inflicted upon me, not by my wife, but by friends who had turned their backs on me decades ago when I was a teen in high school.  My high school days are obviously long behind me, but the rejection that I experienced during that vulnerable time had been embedded inside of my heart.

 

husband's heart

 

That’s because every experience that we have in life has the ability to either push us closer to God’s perfect will for us or pull us further away. The ability to enlighten us and bring about our deliverance or captivate us and take our hearts captive.

 

I’m reminded of a conversation that I had a few years ago with a young man who was exposed to pornography by his older cousin when he was just a boy.  As a result of that early experience, he was captivated and has been struggling with a pornography addiction for most of his young adult life.

 

 

As husbands who are at the helm in our marriages, it is imperative that we search our hearts, guard our hearts, and stay connected to the Father.  We must always be willing to deal with our “stuff” and pursue God with all of our hearts. Like David, we should have a heart to please God.

 

That doesn’t mean we have to be perfect. David was far from perfect. He slept with another man’s wife and then arranged for that man to be placed on the front line of a battlefield so that he’d be killed! David’s actions were shocking, but what’s even more shocking is that the Bible still refers to David as a man after God’s own heart.

 

husband's heart

 

Let David be a reminder to you that God’s expectation is not that you be a perfect husband but that you diligently seek and follow the One who is perfect. Neither your current circumstances nor your past experiences will disqualify you from being a man after God’s heart, but your unwillingness to deal with the issues in your heart can leave you and your marriage stranded in the water.

 

So husbands, what are the issues of your heart? How have your past and present life experiences shaped you? What things were you exposed to in your younger years that are now impacting the man and husband that you are today? Are you busy chasing success or busy chasing God? And finally, whatever your issues are, are you willing to deal with YOU?

 

A husband who is after God’s heart and is willing to consistently deal with his own heart, is a husband who is steering his marriage and his family in the direction of success.

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