The Perfect Wife?
by Wanda Collins
(Christian Marriage Today)
 Sisters, if you've been stressed, depressed, or frustrated by your unsuccessful attempts at being the perfect wife, here's some news that should be rather liberating. Are you ready? Here it goes; the perfect wife does not exist.
That's right, you can place her in the same category as June Clever, the Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus.
Sure you can find Santa in every mall shortly after Thanksgiving. And the Easter Bunny is certain to be seen at the Easter parade. But underneath the costumes are imperfect men; covering up who they really are for the sake of a fantasy.
Unfortunately, some of you ladies have been doing the same thing in your marriages. You've been wearing a mask to cover up your dreams, your desires, your hopes, and your deepest hurts, all for the sake of fulfilling an unrealistic fantasy. What is the fantasy? that the Christian wife is a perfect wife.
The more noble things she does, the more she'll be accepted and loved. She's suppose to work a 9 to 5, cook dinner every night, pick up all her husbands dirty clothes, laugh at all his jokes, take care of the kids, look like a super model all day long, teach Bible study, and then bury all of her hurts and disappointments for the sake of peace.
Well my sister, if that's what you've been doing, it's no wonder you"re stressed out. My advice is to stop DOING things in order to be perceived as the perfect wife. Notice I said perceived -- that's because as I already stated, the perfect wife does not exist. Instead, find out who God has called YOU to be -- then, simply be yourself.
Am I telling you not to try and please your husband? No, that's not what I'm saying at all. We should all strive daily to honor and please our husbands. What I am saying is that you should not beat yourself up for failing to be something that does not really exist. Cut yourself some slack and relax a little bit.
If all of the laundry doesn't get folded, it's okay. If you don't laugh at every corny joke your husband tells, it's alright. And frankly my sister, don't you think it would be better for your marriage and for your health if you discussed your hurts and disappointments with your husband rather than burying them for the sake of pseudo-peace? That means "fake" peace.
Rather than focusing your efforts on always DOING, focus instead on BECOMING. That is, becoming the person God had in mind when He formed you in your mother's womb. By the way, He knew you would not be perfect.
When you make this shift in your thinking, you'll begin to understand that God's perfect plan for marriage, as ironic as it might be, involves two imperfect people; an imperfect husband and an imperfect wife. Now, embrace your quirks, and trust the Holy Spirit to transform you into the woman that God desires, and ultimately into His complete image.
What are your thoughts on being the perfect wife?
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