Are You Tired of Being Married?

Posted by in Counseling Articles | 4 comments

Tired-of-Marriage-Black-Couple

 When You’re Tired of Being Married

What do you do when you’re tired of being married to the person that you’re married to?  When you’re tired of trying, tired of compromising, and tired of forgiving.  Have you ever felt that way?

 

First let me assure you that feeling that way doesn’t make you an evil person–It makes you human.  Marriage is hard work no matter how compatible the two people are, and so you may occasionally find yourself in the valley of marital fatigue.

 

But the good news is that you can overcome those feelings and get yourself and your marriage in a better place.  All that is required is a recollection and an acceptance of a few biblical truths.  Start by asking yourself the following questions:

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#1  HAVE I BEEN WALKING IN THE SPIRIT?

Galatians 5:16 says, “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.” This requires you to completely yield your life to the Lordship of Jesus, crucify your flesh, and follow after the Holy Spirit.

 

Your flesh is your soulish realm.  It’s the part of you that was not born again.  It consists of your mind, your will, and your emotions.  It’s the part of you that gets annoyed, offended, and fed up.  Whenever you allow your flesh to govern you, you will eventually end up depleted of joy and peace.

 

However, when you give full control to the Holy Spirit, you will begin to produce the fruit of the Spirit: Love, joy, patience, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  And while walking in the spirit may sound like something that’s reserved for Super Christians, walking in the Spirit isn’t spooky or super-spiritual at all.

 

It simply means that instead of going along with what your flesh wants you to do or feel, you intentionally force your flesh to be governed by God’s Word and the leading of the Holy Spirit.  Will you get it right 100% of the time? Probably not but don’t let that stop you from trying.

 

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#2 DOES MY BEHAVIOR AND ATTITUDE REFLECT JESUS?

Remember also that marriage is a reflection of the relationship that Christ has with the church.  That means the same kind of love that Christ demonstrates towards His bride, the church, is the same type of love that you are to demonstrate to your spouse.  What kind of love is that? It’s agape love.  Agape love is long suffering, unconditional, and enduring, which means it never gives up.  Aren’t you glad that Jesus didn’t get tired and give up on you?

 

Loving in this manner can be difficult because our natural instinct is self preservation.  In other words, we are always looking out for our own interests.  But in a Christian marriage that simply won’t work.  You must put your spouse first and become a conduit of God’s love–allowing God to live through you in your marriage.  As much as it goes against your flesh and against current culture, you must come to the resolve that marriage is not all about you–It’s about Jesus.

 

#3  HAVE I BEEN DOING THIS IN MY OWN STRENGTH?

If you feel like you’re tired of being married and want to give up, it could be because you’ve been trying to “fix your marriage” instead of casting all of your cares onto the Father.

 

He said, “My grace is sufficient for you and my power [strength] is made perfect in your weakness.” That means God’s at His best when you’re at your weakest and lowest.  Beloved, He doesn’t expect you to know all of the answers or fix things on your own, He wants you to rest in Him–rely on Him–and trust in Him 100% for the outcome.  Because as long as you rely on yourself you will continue to wear yourself out.

 

If you’re tired of being married, today we want to encourage you to give your concerns to the Father, make a decision to walk in the Spirit, and then trust and rest in Him completely.

Love your spouse like the Father loves you, and only do what the Father would do.

 

affordable marriage counseling

 

 

4 Comments

  1. Praise God Nykki! Giving your marriage and your husband to God is the best move you’ll ever make. God knows the end of a thing from the beginning and only He has the power to change another person’s heart. So making Him your number one priority is the right thing to do. Continue to trust in the Father for strength, keep your eyes on Him, and don’t give up! We love you!

  2. Happy Anniversary Joni and Praise God!!! Don’t give up–that’s what the enemy wants you to do. God is greater than any problem you will ever face and the good news is that He’s on your side! All He wants is your obedience and trust. Rest in Him and keep going! We love you and will be praying for you.

  3. I thank God for this post… I’m not tired but I’m overwhelmed… Sometimes I feel as if my husband has thrown in the towel… I told God that I’m going to keep fight for my marriage until God tells me to stop… I love my husband, but I love God more… I give God my husband and my marriage… And it is so,Manifest… Glory be to God

  4. After reading this article, I can truthfully comment that I have gave my flesh to control my marriage. Tomorrow, May 8,2016 will be our 10 year anniversary and I had pre meditated on separating from my spouse. Thank you for this article, I can’t throw in the towel and allow Satan to win!!!

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